


Here Without You

by darkcharmerxo



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-23
Updated: 2015-10-30
Packaged: 2018-04-27 16:17:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 29,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5055415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkcharmerxo/pseuds/darkcharmerxo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Charlotte's life didn't turn out the way she pictured it. Her dream ended the moment she made the choice to take allow Aubrey to use her one last time. Now fourteen years later, Charlotte has one more chance at her dream by becoming Hogwarts Potions professor. Little does she know, Hogwarts has more surprised than she realizes. Sequel to 'Make it Without You'</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Everything Has Changed

" _ **I'm just not sure what to do." Aubrey sighed standing in front of the mirror, running her hands across her stomach. "I mean I could wear this one right? It doesn't make me look too fat?"**_

_**Charlotte pulled herself away from sleep and stared at the ceiling; her eyes looked heavy and her hair was hanging over the arm of the couch, clumped together in a large knot. "Aubrey you can't expect yourself to look the same as before."** _

_**The blond turned to her friend with a grin. "Well of course not! But no one else needs to know that right? Hey do we still have that fire whiskey?"** _

" _ **I have no idea." Charlotte held back a sound of annoyance and let her eyes shut slowly.**_

' _ **Just an hour sleep, that's all I ask for.'**_

" _ **Found it!" Aubrey's voice rang from the kitchen like an alarm.**_

_**Charlotte felt her mind begin to settle and drift off into a sleep. It was quiet and peaceful; she never knew sleep could be this good when you needed it the most. Nothing was going to wake her, nothing at all.** _

_**Until a loud ringing echoed through the house.** _

" _ **Oh he is here!"**_

_**Suddenly cries rang out from the back room and Charlotte groaned. She pushed herself up from the couch and made her way to the back room as Aubrey slammed the door shut.** _

_**The room was dark but the cries were loud. Charlotte lowered her arms into the crib that was at her side, slowly picking up the bundle and holding it close. She moved towards the chair, rocking the bundle back and forth and gently sitting down. She let the chair move forward and back as the cries begin to quiet down.** _

" _ **It's alright dear." She cradled the infant in her arms, running her hand against the dark locks. "Mommy isn't here right now but Charlotte is here for you."**_

_**The baby's cries stopped and Charlotte gave a little happy sigh.** _

" _ **Back to sleep little Eloise."**_

* * *

"Charlotte…"

The voice had pulled her from her dream, a memory of so long ago. Her body seemed to be crying out with exhaustion. An hour more, that's all she wanted. She raised her hand up, trying to swat away the voice.

"No, go away."

"Charlotte…." The voice continued. Hands pressed down on her shoulders. "Charlotte!"

"Alright." Bright blue eyes stared down at her as a groan escaped her lips. "You know you don't have to be that close to me."

"Well maybe if you woke up easier, I wouldn't have to be this close!" A giggle escaped the girl's lips as she jumped back with her hands cupped tightly to her hips.

"I was up late last night, I figured I would get to sleep in today. I'm guessing you want me to feed you right?"

"Nope! Made my own this morning! I told you already that I can be independent! Anyways, there is an owl that won't leave till you reply and it's starting to follow me and peck at my fingers. It has your name on it."

"Of course it does," Charlotte rubbed her head. "Alright, get out. Let me get changed."

She watched the dark haired girl bounce away, trying to shake the ache in her heart. So much had changed in fourteen years. 'She isn't a baby anymore! She's been in school for four years and you still try to coddle her.'

"It's hard not to." She muttered, rising from the bed and stretching her arms up.

Charlotte reached over to grab some clothing when she caught site of her own reflection. She was probably the only thing that hadn't changed much since that memory. Perhaps she got 'more of a backbone' as some would say but her hair still seemed as lifeless as ever and her eyes looked even more tired than before.

"Charlotte hurry up! It's biting me again!"

She turned away from her own reflection, thankful for the distraction. "I'm coming!"

After throwing on some clothing quickly, she left the room, moving down the stairway and into the kitchen. She glanced around briefly before spotting the bird.

"Right here!" The girl pointed at the bird before pulling back quickly as it nipped at her hand. "Ugh! Get it away from me!"

Charlotte couldn't help but give a snort of amusement. "Ellie, Stop acting like your mother."

"I am NOT acting like her!"

Charlotte crumbled the letter up with a sigh. "Well I suppose we won't know for sure will we?"

"She canceled again? Surprise surprise." Ellie leaned into the table with her elbows. "What's the excuse this time?"

"Old friend in town."

"Which one this time? Whiskey, gin or vodka?"

Charlotte turned to the girl, giving her the look she found herself frequently using. Ellie didn't even blink as she shrugged her shoulders. "Look I'm fourteen not four. I know she would rather get drunk then see me any day."

"Well either way, you're going to have to stay with me unless you would rather go see your grandparents."

Ellie grinned. "I'll stay with you if you let me help out."

"Ellie…"

"Come on Charlotte!" Ellie's arms crossed over her chest. "I have the highest grade in my potions class! I can help out and not be in the way! I really can!"

"Alright then. But when I say you need to…"

"Yeah yeah, 'when you say to back off you mean it' blah blah blah."

"I do mean it." Charlotte shook her head as the girl left the room with a grin, leaving Charlotte with her own thoughts. She tossed the crumpled letter into the wastebasket; her head rested on her left hand, gazing at the window.

'You shouldn't really be surprised,' she scolded herself. 'When is the last time she showed up for a visit? Even when Ellie was hers, she didn't bother coming around.'

It was never supposed to be like this, her life that is. When she had left Hogwarts, she had planned it out perfectly. She applied at every job that interest her and with her grades, interviews came flooding in like wild fire. She and Aubrey got their own place, Charlotte started her new job and then the bombshell came.

" _ **Charlotte I can't do this alone!" Aubrey begged. "I'm scared and I just can't get rid of it!"**_

" _ **Aubrey what about the…"**_

" _ **Father?" Aubrey brushed it off. "This baby doesn't need a father anyways."**_

_**She reached out her arms and squeezed Charlotte tightly. "This baby has you Charlotte, and that's better than any man who could call himself father."** _

Aubrey couldn't work of course, not in her condition (or so she claimed). Charlotte found herself working twice as hard to pay the rent and soon enough, purchase what they needed for this baby that wasn't supposed to happen.

Even with all this, it still could have worked. Charlotte still could have still stayed working, bringing in money. Aubrey however, had other plans. She was not cut out for motherhood, she couldn't handle to crying, the diapers, the feeding. Charlotte watched countless times as Aubrey left for the weekends and then soon enough whenever she wanted. Then Charlotte would have to pick up the phone and call into work. Soon enough they asked her not to come back.

The saving grace in all of this, was Aubrey's parents who knew what her daughter was like. After two years of watching her daughter run away from her responsibilities, they took custody of their grandchild and soon after that, made Charlotte her legal guardian.

No one ever asked about Ellie's father. Well no one except Ellie.

" _ **Who is he? Don't you know?" Despite Aubrey never being around, Ellie never failed to make Charlotte think of her. "Didn't my mother know?"**_

" _ **I have no idea." Her stomached ached. Couldn't she just leave it be?**_

" _ **You were her best friend and she got pregnant at the end of school right? At least when I tried to figure it out, that's what I came up with. Come on Charlotte, you have to know!"**_

Though she knew who it could have been, she always chose to ignore it. Perhaps out of everything, that was the one thing Charlotte selfishly kept to herself. The man, she had loved so long ago, was more than likely the father of Aubrey's child, the one Charlotte had taken care of for 14 years.

The irony of it all never escaped her.

Charlotte brushed the past memories away before getting up to find Ellie.

The day passed on quickly as most days seem too. Charlotte began to prepare for some potions she needed to make, Ellie intently watching her from the sidelines, occasionally asking to help. It almost became routine for them now.

"Chop this," Charlotte would always give her relatively easy tasks that wouldn't take away any time if messed up.

Ellie would pout, saying she wanted to do more.

"If anything every happened, we would be out a lot of money. We can't afford it."

They only lived on the money Charlotte made from selling potions to different stores and people and between rent, food and buying supplies to make the potions, money was extremely tight. If it hadn't been for Ellie's grandparents, Charlotte wasn't sure how she could have afforded school supplies for Ellie.

The night went by smoothly, Charlotte managed to get her work done on time for once.

Long after Ellie had finally fallen asleep, Charlotte's feet slowly carried her to her own bed. She let her body flop down hard, not bothering to change into any kind of night clothing. Her body felt exhausted and thankfully sleep came quickly.

* * *

"Charlotte!"

Ellie's feet raced up the stairs, skidding through the hallway almost missing the doorway. She tumbled into the room and dropped a brown envelope on her desk with a grin. "You have a letter!"

Charlotte looked at the letter for a moment before picking it up. She turned it over to open it and stopped. A red seal, one she had not seen in many years, kept the letter closed up. She ran her fingers gently over it.

"Who is it? Mom would never use a fancy seal like that."

"It's from Hogwarts." Charlotte explain, breaking the letter open.

"Your old school?"

"Yes." Charlotte felt Ellie looking over her shoulder, trying to catch a glimpse of the words written on the parchment.

"Well what is it?"

"I don't really…"

"Let me see!" Ellie ripped the letter from Charlotte's hand before she could protest. Her voice rang through the room loud and clear.

_Miss Matthews,_

_I hope everything it well, it has been such a long time since we have seen each other. I am sure you are wondering why I am writing to you today. It seems I have a positon open in my staff for Potions professor and after speaking with the head Healer at St Mungo's, they recommended you to fill the positon. They have informed me of your great work you have done with them and I am eager to hear more of your accomplishments._

_I am sorry if this comes at short notice but I hope to hear from you soon. Perhaps you can come to the castle so we can have a chat face to face._

_Hope to hear from you soon,_

_Minerva McGonagall_

_Head Mistress of Hogwarts_

"She is offering you a job!" Ellie bounced up and down like a kid at Christmas. "You have to take it!"

"Ellie," Charlotte stood up and grabbed her by the shoulders. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves. She wants to speak to me, that's all. She hasn't offered me any positon. Plus do you realize how much harder things would be? Keeping this place while not living here? You would have to probably stay at your school over the holidays."

"So ask them to let me go to Hogwarts too. Make it a condition of your employment. That way we can be together all year."

"It's not that simple you know. I can't just waltz in there, demanding things like that. You would be thrown into a place where people already have their friends. You could hate the school. You would have to be sorted…" Charlotte let go of the dark haired girl with a sigh. "It's just a lot to ask of them."

"Well if they really want you, it's worth it! Just think, this is what we have been waiting for! A chance at a better life. Not say that this one isn't great. But you work yourself too hard just to try and put food on the table. Seriously what do you have to lose?"

"You know sometimes I am glad you are like your mother. At least the good parts of her."

"There are good parts? Are you sure they exists?" Ellie walked over the desk and pulled out a piece of parchment and a quill. "Now write back!"

Charlotte knew she was right. Really, what did she have to lose?

 


	2. Breakaway

" _ **Professor?" Charlotte walked into the classroom slowly. The room was silent, there was no potion sitting on the table, not even ingredients to start one. Something was off, Charlotte could tell. She locked the door behind her, advancing further into the classroom.**_

" _ **Professor?" she called out again hoping he would realize it was her. Nothing**_

_**She continued through the classroom to his office, noticing the door was opened slightly. She heard him before she pushed on further. She reached up and knocked on the door gently. "Professor are you in here?"** _

_**He opened the door quickly, causing her to stumble back. He was glaring at her, something she wasn't used to from him, at least towards her.** _

' _ **I…I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…" she turned away to head back out when he grabbed her arm.**_

" _ **We were supposed to meet tonight. That's my fault. Come in."**_

_**His voice was off but she followed him in anyways. It wasn't that she didn't want to stay with him, if anything she was excited to help it. Not just because it gave her an excuse to bail out on the Halloween party Aubrey begged her to go too either.** _

" _ **Sit." He muttered, walking towards his bookshelf.**_

_**She took a seat across from where he had sat moments ago. She noticed the glass full of liquid and a bottle beside it. There was a picture propped up that sat facing him. She had interrupted something, she knew that now.** _

" _ **Professor I can…" he dropped a book in front of her. She picked it up, studying the title for a moment. "Professor…."**_

" _ **Sit and read it. Unless you have better things to do."**_

_**She opened the book, feeling the first page. No she didn't want to leave, even if it meant sitting her awkwardly with him. This book, she remembered it well.** _

" _ **Thank you." She stared at him deeply. "As long as you don't mind me staying."**_

_**He took his seat again as she began to read, no longer paying attention to him but the words on the page. She heard him sip his drink away and pour more. By the time she looked up again, hours had passed and his bottle was gone. He was staring at her, finishing off what was in his glass.** _

" _ **I should go, it's late." She broke the silence, feeling her cheeks heat at his stare. Charlotte closed the book and looked to the floor. "Thank you again professor."**_

_**He didn't speak again till she was about to leave his office. "Goodnight Miss Matthews."** _

_**She smiled. "Goodnight to you as well Professor. See you tomorrow night."** _

Charlotte slowly opened her eyes, feeling the sunlight falling into the room through the half covered window. She sat up and put her head in her hands, trying to push away the memories that seem to be reappearing in her mind when she slept.

A week now, she had been haunted by her past at Hogwarts, all leading up to the day when she would find out if she was returning again.

She almost wished Ellie would have woken her up for once and glancing over at the time, Charlotte figured she should have.

Charlotte took her time getting dressed, even though she probably shouldn't have. She ran her hands over the dusty clothing that hung her closet. She had bought these clothes when she thought she would need them; those times when she believed that she would at least be financially secure. If there was anything she wanted in her life, it was that. She had never owned much and her great aunt wasn't exactly too willing to buy her things. For the most part, she bought her own school supplies, clothing and whatever else she needed with the money left by her parents which, wasn't a lot.

She slipped on the nicest blouse and pants she had, gave her hair a quick brush and brushed her teeth quickly before giving herself a final look over. She left the room again, this time heading down the stairs, checking the kitchen before heading into the front room.

"Wow Charlotte you clean up good." Ellie commented after giving a whistle of approval.

"Thank you." she walked over and pushed the girl towards the door.

"Hey what's the big idea?" Ellie tried to force her way back into the room.

"I am going to be late and I still need to get you to your grandparents!"

"I told you I didn't need a babysitter! I am almost an adult!"

"Yes, almost." Charlotte slipped on her shoes quickly, kicking the other pair towards Ellie. "Come on, we are already running behind."

Ellie grumbled, putting on her shoes and running out the door with Charlotte. A normal walk would have taken them ten minutes or so but with Charlotte running down the street, dragging Ellie along, they made it there in five.

"Thank you so much for doing this. I know it's kind of short notice…"

The older woman smiled, opening the door for Ellie to walk in. Charlotte could always see where Aubrey got her beauty but was never sure where her selfishness stemmed from. Both her parents were tall and, even in their old age, stunning. Both were kind or at least, had always been to Charlotte. They helped her out with taking care of Ellie and (as much as Charlotte hated to admit it) financially as well. They were the parents she had always dreamed of.

"Charlotte you gave us a week notice. It's quiet alright."

"You didn't even have to give notice," Ellie pouted. "I am not a baby. I don't need to be a babysitter."

"She is in a mood about coming here. Sorry Ellen. Now get in there, I thought you wanted me to get this job."

"Oh Ellie, think of it as keeping your grandmother company." Ellen still had the same smile on her face as the younger girl walked in. "Before you go Charlotte…" She reached in her pocket and pushed the envelope into Charlotte's hand. "Take this. I know you will get this job and you will need some new clothing and supplies."

"Ellen…" she went to hand it back but Ellen closed her hands together, refusing it.

"Charlotte, when Aubrey was born, we began saving for her, for her school before and after Hogwarts. We wanted her to have every opportunity possible and didn't want money in the way of that. The things Aubrey has done not just to Eloise but also to you….me and Robert just don't accept it. You deserve this for all the hard work you have done. You didn't have to take Eloise in but you did. Please take it."

Charlotte tucked the money into her pocket. "Alright thank you."

"Now get going and good luck!"

Charlotte moved as fast as she could to the alleyway next to Ellen and Robert's house. She made sure no one was walking by before she pulled out her wand and apparated to an alleyway in Hogsmade. She always hated the feeling she got when she traveled this way but it was the quickest and safest way she could think of.

She left the alleyway, moving towards Hogwarts through the village. Memories came flooding in like a rapid river. Memories she tried to shake away. Every building, every crack, they all held memories for her. She couldn't help herself.

_**Her hands pressed against the glass, the window fogged up at her slow breathing. All she wanted to do was run in, loosing herself in all the pages. But she knew what would happen; the same thing that always happened. Charlotte would stand there for hours, reading through books before they would throw her out, saying if she didn't intend to buy something, she shouldn't be in there.** _

" _ **One little peek won't hurt." She pushed opened the door and snuck in quickly while the shopkeeper was dealing with another student. She moved to the back where the potions book sat. This section was one of her favorites. She would sometimes read over how to make a certain potion ten times before moving onto the next one.**_

_**She ran her fingers over the books, searching for the right one.** _

" _ **Found it." She had to stand on her toes to reach it.**_

_**She flipped through the pages, remembering where she left off last. Charlotte took a quick look around before losing herself in it.** _

" _ **Hey!" Charlotte jumped at the voice and turned. The shopkeeper stood at the end of the isle, red in the face. "How many times have I told you? You can't just stand here and read unless you buy something!"**_

" _ **I..I…"**_

" _ **I am this close to banning you from here! Then where are you going to come and waste time hmm? Well? Are you going to buy that or am I kicking you out for good?"**_

_**Charlotte felt her mouth go dry. She hadn't meant to not keep a look out for him. She turned over the book and looked at the price. There was no way she could afford it, at least not with the little money she carried in her pocket.** _

" _ **Well…I…"**_

" _ **Thank you Miss Matthews," a familiar voice came from nowhere. "That's exactly the one I was looking for. I am sure you read through it carefully to make sure it had what is needed?"**_

" _ **Well hello professor, is this one with you today?"**_

_**His dark eyes glanced to her and then back to the man. "Yes she is. We should be done soon since you seem to be in such a rush…"** _

" _ **Oh no…" the shopkeeper rubbed the back of his head with an awkward laugh. "No no, just can't keep this one out of here. Nose is always stuck in a book but never wants to purchase. But either way, take your time."**_

_**Charlotte let out her breath when the shopkeeper was out of sight. She looked back over to her professor who was smirking.** _

" _ **I like reading." Was all she could get out, feeling the heat rise to her cheeks.**_

_**He held out his hand for the book and she passed it over. He looked at the cover and then some of the pages. He always had a way of making her feel nervous yet comfortable at the same time.** _

" _ **It has a lot of complicated potions. I was trying to memorize some of them."**_

" _ **Wouldn't buying the book make things easier for you?" he teased.**_

" _ **Well," her cheeks still flushed. "It's a bit out of my price range."**_

_**He shut the book and turned it over "Ah yes, I could see why that would cause you some problems."** _

" _ **Thank you for…" he walked away before she could finish, taking the book with him She chased after him but he was already at the desk, pulling out some coins.**_

" _ **Pleasure doing business with you professor." The shopkeeper nodded his head to him and then to her.**_

_**He picked up the book and left the shop with her on his tail.** _

" _ **No afraid to be seen with me Miss Matthews?" he was walking away from her now.**_

" _ **Of course not sir." she caught up with him and stood in front of him. "But you didn't have to buy that book."**_

" _ **I don't have this one yet and it looked interesting."**_

_**Now she felt stupid, of course he didn't buy it because she was reading it.** _

" _ **I hope you enjoy it, perhaps you will let me copy down some of the potions one time?"**_

_**A rare, genuine smile crossed his lips. "Yes I am sure that will be fine."** _

_**She started to back away from him, not wanting to tear her eyes away from his face. "Well, I have to go meet Aubrey. Thank you again Professor…for in the shop I mean!"** _

_**He didn't stop smiling at her as she turned away and ran off, her heart racing harder then she had ever felt.** _

That day, had somehow brought them closer. She didn't know then what it would lead too and even if she did, Charlotte wasn't sure she would stop any of it from happening.

The daydream had kept her occupied enough to make it to Hogwarts quickly. The castle seemed as big and beautiful as she remembered it. But Charlotte knew it wouldn't be the same, not with Dumbledore sitting at his desk offering a candy to her.

Waiting at the gates was a very tall man she recognized from her time at Hogwarts. Rubeus Hagrid and Charlotte hadn't crossed paths many times but she knew him to see him. He hadn't changed much in the years other than going a bit grey in the beard.

"Well 'ello there Miss Matthews!" she could tell he was hoping it was her.

"Hello Hagrid. It's been a long time." She walked through the gates and followed him towards the castle.

They made small talk heading up to the castle until they reached the Headmistress's office. She stepped in, saying a goodbye to Hagrid.

"Charlotte Matthews." Minerva McGonagall looked much older now; her face was lined with new wrinkles and her eyes looked heavy, just as Charlotte's usual did when staring into the mirror in the morning. The only think that stayed the same was her hairstyle and clothing choices.

"It's been too long." Minerva held her hand out the seat across from her. "Please sit."

"It has been. But it doesn't seem like Hogwarts has changed much." The office had stayed the same aside from a new picture hung up. Dumbledore looked down at her with a large grin.

"Only a few things," Minerva smiled gently. "Now shall we get down to business? Like I mentioned in the letter, St Mungo's told me about what you did for them during the war. How you were quiet possibly one of their biggest aides."

Charlotte nodded. During the war, everyone tried to help where they could even Charlotte. Word had traveled to her that with the war, they needed more healers and potion makers. They were willing to pay, less the normal but it was still money. Charlotte's large knowledge and talent came in handy. She had saved many lives.

"I just tried to do what I could."

"Well it helped out a great deal. So then, what else have you been up to? I am sure there are more accomplishment then that."

"Actually…" Charlotte bit her lip. She knew this would come up eventually; people expected great things from Charlotte especially her professors who had spent years teaching her. If anyone should have succeeded, it should have been her. "You see, it's a long story. You remember Aubrey Andrews right?"

"Oh yes, I most certainly do." No doubt Minerva thought back to how many failing papers she marked of Aubrey's or how many times she took points away from Ravenclaw due to her wild ideas.

"Well right after we finished school, Aubrey had a baby. I'm sure you're not surprised to hear that she wasn't exactly cut out for motherhood." Charlotte looked down at her hands. "I have custody of her child now and have since she was young, Eloise that is. That has taken up most of my time for the past fourteen years."

Minerva sat silently for a few moments before clearing her throat. "Well that is…"

"Unexpected?" Charlotte looked back at up at her with a small smile, wringing her hands. "I don't have much of a work history other then what you know about. I work from home, making potions for people who need it."

"Well it sounds like you have done very well for yourself under the circumstances." Minerva stood up and held her arm out. "Come on, I will show you some parts of the castle you wouldn't have seen when you were a student."

"But…"

"Come along Charlotte, we can talk while we are walking."

* * *

'There is never anything fun to do here.' Ellie peaked into the kitchen at her grandmother; she hummed a tune while chopping into some vegetables. 'Alright well it's not so bad sometimes I guess.'

Ellie couldn't help it, she wasn't use to the quiet, uneventful life her grandparents seemed to live. With Charlotte there was always something happening, whether it be helping out with a potion that needed to be made or dealing with her mother. Here it was watching reruns on the TV set they had or chopping vegetables up for supper.

"Eloise, is there something you need?" Ellen asked, not even turning.

'How does she do that? It used to be funny trying to sneak up on her. Now it's just annoying.' Ellie walked over, leaning on the counter where Ellen was chopping.

"I thought I told you I go by Ellie now," she reached downed and grabbed a piece of carrot and stuck it in her mouth. "When is Charlotte going to be back? She has been gone forever?"

"Eloise, I am sure Charlotte has a good reason for being gone. But either way, she has things she needs to do as well. Try being a little…" She stopped cutting, searching for the words.

"Less like mom?" Ellie crossed her arms. "I'm not saying I am like her but that's what Charlotte always tells me."

"Well if anyone knew what your mother was really like it would have been her."

"I just don't understand how Charlotte could have been friends with her for all those years. I would have tossed her to the curb long before that." Ellie thought back to the times she heard her mother and Charlotte speaking; Charlotte would barely stand up to her when he mother was still around somewhat. Even after Charlotte got custody, her mother would walk in like she was in charge.

Then one night everything changed. Charlotte didn't know Ellie had heard the fight and she never bothered to tell her.

"That," Ellen lifted the knife up again, snapping Ellie from her thoughts. "Would be something you need to ask Charlotte."

"Ask me what?" The two turned to see Charlotte standing in the doorway.

"Your back! Finally!" Ellie bounced over. "Did you get the job? DID YOU?"

Charlotte ignored her and walked over to Ellen who had put down the knife and fully turned. "Thank you again for watching her today and sorry it took so long to come back. I was going over some of the contract…"

"So you did get it!" Ellie interrupted.

Charlotte glanced over to her. "Yes I got the job."

"That's wonderful!" Ellen reached out and pulled Charlotte into a tight hug for a moment before letting Charlotte, who had tensed up, go.

"Uh…yeah. Thanks."

"What about me?" Ellie asked. "Did they say anything about me?"

"About you?" Ellen looked slightly confused.

"Well that is the other thing I wanted to talk to you about Ellen," Charlotte mentally prepared herself for Ellie's scream. "It seems Ellie will be transferring schools."

"Really you mean…"

"Yes Ellie, you will be going to Hogwarts,"

 


	3. It Won't Be Long Now

" _ **I just can't think of a name." Aubrey brought a spoon up to her mouth. "I mean I don't want something boring, like Ellen!"**_

_**Charlotte walked out from the kitchen. "Ellen is your mother's name."** _

" _ **Well exactly, how boring is that?" she blink a few times. "I thought I asked for butterscotch."**_

" _ **Sorry," Charlotte looked away. "They were out."**_

" _ **Well geez you couldn't check another store?" Aubrey grumbled. "I'm the one who is sitting here with this huge belly!"**_

_**Charlotte bit her tongue at the last second. Ever since Aubrey found out she was pregnant, she had been getting meaner and meaner with each passing day. Charlotte understood somewhat, there were hormones dancing around her body, she was always tired and constantly hungry. She couldn't drink or party like she use too. At the same time, Charlotte wished Aubrey could cut her some slack, she did do the best she could.** _

" _ **Sorry, I will go find some."**_

" _ **Don't even worry about it!" Aubrey threw the tub across the room. "Why can't you just help me?"**_

_**Charlotte watched as Aubrey's eyes filled with tears. She was whimpering now. "I just need to find a name! She is almost here and doesn't even have a name! You need to help me!"** _

" _ **Alright," Charlotte sat down beside her. "I will help you Aubrey. Don't worry about anything."**_

_**The tears seem to dry up a little too quickly and Aubrey's smile returned. "Perfect! Now I have a few ideas…."** _

* * *

"Charlotte! Snap out of it!" fingers snapped in front of her face, causing her to jump. "Hello? You need to pay!"

"Sorry…" Charlotte reached into her pocket and put some money on the counter. She grabbed the change and handed Ellie the bag. "Come on."

"So what's with the daydreaming? It's not like you." Ellie asked before getting distracted by a shop.

"You don't need that." Charlotte pulled her away from the window and towards another. "I'm fine. Just thinking about teaching."

"Ok." Ellie finally took notice on where they were heading. "Oh! Clothes!"

Charlotte found herself practically running after the teenager as she jumped into the store. When Charlotte walked in, Ellie scrunched her nose at the site of it all. There wasn't too many people in the shop that seemed to be lined with robes.

"Seriously Charlotte, I am going to have to wear used robes to school?" Ellie crossed her arms. "I would rather wear my old robes! They still look better than this stuff!"

"Well I wish that were an option but you grew since the end of last school term. You won't fit into anything. Just look around."

"What about you?"

"I'm going to look at some stuff for myself."

Ellie stomped off to her section of clothing while Charlotte slowly walked over to the back end where she needed to be looking. Some items were full of holes and smelt a little off but when Charlotte looked hard enough, she found a handful of robes that she could see herself wearing.

Walking back over to Ellie, it seemed that she too had a handful of things in her arms. She grumbled and continued to stomp over to the cash register, continuing with her foul mood until they left the store and Charlotte finally said something.

"Look Ellie you know we don't have a lot of money and we have to save where we can. You're in your fourth year now and you will be required to have dress clothing as it says here. I am going to wait to get that later…"

"Wait what? Dress clothing for what?"

"I'm not sure. But let's go eat and then head home. We both leave in a few days and we need to start packing."

In some ways Charlotte would have preferred Ellie to get the whole Hogwarts first year experience besides the fact that she wasn't a first year. She still got to see the amazing view of Hogwarts, the castle in all its glory. She would still get to see the great hall lit up, waiting for the first years to be sorted.

Minerva met up with them to give Ellie a brief tour of the inside of the castle, noting, now that she was getting the tour she best not try and say she was ever late to class because she lost her way. Charlotte glanced over at Ellie who was rolling her eyes.

"Stop acting like your mother." Charlotte leaned over as they were walking.

Ellie pouted. "I am not."

Charlotte sighed and didn't bother pushing it any further; they were almost at the Head Mistress's office for Ellie's private sorting ceremony. For the most part, Charlotte was pleased that Minerva was kind enough to agree to it; she was sure that Ellie wouldn't mind proudly walking up with all the other first years but Charlotte wanted this last thing to herself with Ellie. After this, it wouldn't just be the two of them anymore.

"So how do we do this then?" Ellie walked into the office and looked around. She saw the hat sitting on the desk and her nose scrunched. "Ew what's that?"

"The Sorting Hat." I motioned for her to sit in the chair.

"So what do…do I like wear it?" Ellie asked while staring at the chair before sitting.

"I shall place the Sorting Hat on your head and then you will be placed into a house." Minerva walked over, picking up the hat.

"That's it?" Ellie laughed leaning back on the chair. "Easy peasy, bring it on."

Minerva shook her head with a look that Charlotte understood completely. It was the look she wore a few minutes before.

Ellie wore her smirk, waiting for something to happen. "Well this is…"

"Ah Miss Andrews…" the Sorting Hat began to talk causing Ellie to jump.

"Holy crap! You didn't say it could talk!" She looked at Charlotte.

Charlotte waited patiently as Ellie bantered away with the Sorting Hat instead of letting him get on with his task. It made her think back, to a time that seemed so far away, that it was like it never happened. It was the day she laid eyes on Aubrey for the first time. The first time they spoke and noticed each other. Their first time at Hogwarts.

* * *

" _ **Yes very interesting…"**_

" _ **Just get on with it!" Aubrey crossed her arms, her eyes rolling up to stare at the hat. "I don't have all day you know!"**_

_**She was the first to be sorted and had walked up with a large grin on her face.** _

_**Charlotte glanced through the gaps between a couple of new classmates in front of her. She watched Aubrey in awe, wondering how someone could be that confident in themselves. She felt envy run through her body, wishing she could be like that.** _

" _ **Yes then….hmmm…better be…RAVENCLAW!"**_

_**The middle table to the left cheered loudly as Aubrey bounced along, sitting down at her new table, giggling away.** _

_**Charlotte anxiously waited for her turn, picking at the side of her thumb watching most being sorted into the Hufflepuff and Slytherin house.** _

_**Finally, her turn had arrived. She felt her body shake and she slowly made her way towards the hat, only two other people left in the small crowd of first years.** _

_**She didn't know much about Hogwarts but she knew that each house stood for something different and sometimes that those traits intertwined in a person. It was like Aubrey, who had waiting a few moments before the Sorting Hat could choose.** _

' _ **What if he can't sort me? What if I don't belong?'**_

_**It only took a brief second when the hat was placed upon her head did it ring out the words "RAVENCLAW!"** _

* * *

"Much like your mother I see! I remember her well. I knew she would cause a lot of trouble from the beginning. I thought Ravenclaw would help her, she was a very bright girl though. However, I see some of your father in you too…"

Charlotte felt her mouth run dry; Ellie would be wondering how the sorting hat knew about her father which, would bring up even more questions. Questions that Charlotte didn't have entire answers for. For a moment, Charlotte couldn't seem to breathe.

'Please don't say anything else.' She silently begged the hat.

"Yes…I see it now….better be…SLYTHERIN!"

The hat was taken from her head and Minerva walked over to Charlotte, putting a hand on her shoulder. She gave a small sigh while Ellie looked rather pleased with herself. "Well you could only hope so much for her to be in Ravenclaw."

Charlotte realized she must have looked more panic then she intended too.

"Ravenclaw? Is that the one you wanted me in Charlotte?" Ellie crossed her arms. "You should have just told me."

"There was a reason I didn't." She had refused to let Ellie know where she wanted her sorted, fearing that it might chance the outcome. Charlotte wanted Ellie to be where she best fit and while, she was not thrilled about her being in Slytherin, she was happy none the less.

"Well I'm just happy I got sorted! For a moment I thought maybe he wouldn't know where to place me and I would get kicked out!"

"Heavens child no!" Minerva shook her head then looked at Charlotte. "Professor Snape will have fun dealing with her. I remember how much he enjoyed dealing with her mother."

'Minerva if you only knew how ironic that statement was.' Charlotte thought to herself, ignoring the sick feeling running through her stomach. She was brought back to the time when she first found out about what Aubrey and her old professor had done. She wasn't mad, more hurt by the entire thing. She had forced herself to forgive Aubrey but told herself she would never see Severus Snape again.

"Wait…" Something clicked in Charlotte's head. "What do you mean Professor Snape? Isn't he…well gone?"

"Of course not! What made you think that?"

"You said…the Potions Master…"

"Yes, yes Professor Slughorn left. Professor Snape took on the Defence Against the Dark Arts position a few years ago. Couldn't convince him to take the potions position back. But enough about that!"

Charlotte felt the color drain from her face. "So…he is here?"

"Yes! I figured you would be pleased. You were one of his best students. Probably one of the only ones he seemed to tolerate."

"So it sounds like I won't like this Professor Snape much?" Ellie interrupted in, looking back and forth at the two.

"Well may I suggest Miss Andrews that you learn to like him! He will be in charge of you for your entire time here at Hogwarts." Minerva still held the Sorting Hat in her hands. "Now shall we begin heading down to the Great Hall? I will be down there soon, Charlotte just take a spot wherever at the Head table. I'm sure you will help Miss Andrews to her table."

"Of course, see you down there."

They left the office with Minerva before heading separate ways, leaving Ellie and Charlotte to walk alone. Charlotte could feel Ellie's eyes on her, searching for answers to whatever questions were in her head.

"So this Professor Snape guy is my Head of House or whatever?"

"Yes."

"So what happened with you two?"

Charlotte couldn't meet her eye. "What do you mean?"

"I just mean you were apparently his favorite and this is the first I have ever heard about him. You told me lots about Hogwarts but nothing about him!" Ellie pushed on. "Plus when Professor said his name, you looked like you were about to throw up."

"I was not."

"You were too!" Ellie sighed. "I suppose it could have been the fact you were interacting with someone for more than two seconds though. I don't even know how you got a teaching position when you can barely look someone in the eye when you speak to them."

"I can too, I talk to you all the time just fine. Do I not?'

"Yeah well that's me." Ellie grinned. "I'm special."

Charlotte couldn't help but laugh lightly. "That you are."

"Hey!" Ellie stuck out her bottom lip. "Anyways all I am saying is, it's like you don't trust people enough to let them in or something."

Charlotte ignored the comment and pointed to the door. "We are here, I will show you to your table."

Ellie gave Charlotte a sideways glance and with a sigh, she didn't push it any further.

* * *

Over the years, not much had really changed. Of course, there was the war, his almost death and the Dark Lord being killed once and for all. He was praised by the world; a hero, they called him. He had options on how he wanted to live his life after he was no longer needed as a spy.

For Severus Snape, return to Hogwarts made the most sense. He wasn't exactly cut out for teaching, or so he thought, but Minerva had begged him to come back. They still had Slughorn as the Potions Master but Defence Against the Dark Arts had an open spot and he couldn't resist.

'Now to see what kind of dunderhead replaced the old man.' Severus snickered in his own mind, entering the Great Hall from the side. He looked down at the table, scanning it for the new face. He found her easily, sitting next to Flitwick.

He wanted to snort at the sight of her. She wore a very plain dark colored robe and her hair was pulled back from her face so he could see the way she was having trouble looking Flitwick in the eye. Flitwick was leaning into her, clearly trying to hear the words she spoke.

He took the last seat, beside Flitwick and the end of the table, not even bothering to introduce himself. He may have found the new Potion's Mistress amusing but that didn't mean he wanted to be friendly with her.

"Oh Professor Snape! I was wondering when you might join us." He turned slowly to Flitwick, trying not to sound too bored.

"Yes well I try to avoid these things as much as possible."

"Oh you need to get out more Professor! Plus you wouldn't get to meet our lovely new Professor…" he couldn't finish; the first years began to file into to be sorted. The ceremony was the same as the others so he took the moment to get another glance at the woman again.

Severus didn't know why, but he had felt like it was the face of someone he knew but he couldn't place her.

'She could just have been in the paper.' He told himself even though he knew it was more than that, he could feel it. His curiosity was getting the best of him.

Sorting seemed to drag on, longer then he would have liked. When it was finally over, Minerva stood up, beginning her yearly speech for the students. She went over the same old rules, the same old information. The only thing that would be different would be the thing he was impatiently waiting for.

"As you may have noticed, Professor Slughorn is no longer with us as the Potion's Master. As you also may have noticed, a new face has joined us up here. Please help me welcome your new Potion's Mistress, Charlotte Matthews."

If he was drinking something, it would be all over the floor by now. He gave her a full look now as she stood up. It all clicked together now, it was her. She was older, her hair a little different but she hadn't changed a whole lot.

His mind took him back to the time when she was his student; the smiles, the conversations. The great pain he caused her. He hadn't thought about her all the time (it was almost easier not too), but she had crossed his mind over the years from time to time. He knew it had been better the way it ended up; he would have been a Death Eater, putting her in danger. Not only that, she would have been able to turn his focus away from his mission back then.

'Perhaps she has forgotten.' He couldn't help but wish it.

As she took her seat again, she glanced over at him, catching his eye. She turned away as quickly as she looked.

He knew by the look, she hadn't forgotten, not one bit of it.

 


	4. Things I'll Never Say

" _ **Severus I think it's done." Charlotte looked down on the cauldron. "The color might be a little off though. What do you think?"**_

_**He walked over to her and stood across the table, placing his hands on the desk and leaning in. "Yes it seems slightly off, add a bit more mandrake root, it doesn't have enough."** _

_**Charlotte did as she was instructed and the pair both looked pleased at the result. He walked back to his desk as she bottled the substance up. When she had finished, she set them gently on his desk and stood still.** _

_**He looked up. "I believe we are done for the night…"** _

" _ **How do you do it?" she blurted out.**_

_**He raised his eyebrow and she took a breath in, wringing her hands together. "I mean how do you know just by looking at the potion what's wrong with it?"** _

" _ **It takes years of practice Charlotte, but there are some tricks to it."**_

" _ **How? Can you show me?" She looked at him eagerly.**_

" _ **Hm," he stood back up and walked over to where another potion was brewing. "Come here."**_

_**She followed him over and stood still, waiting for his next instruction.** _

" _ **Close your eyes…"**_

" _ **Close my eyes? But…"**_

" _ **You wanted me to show you Charlotte did you not?" He asked.**_

_**Had it been anyone else, she may had not done it. 'But I trust him.' She told herself.** _

_**She closed her eyes slowly before she sensed something close to her face.** _

" _ **Use your senses to tell me what's wrong with this, but use your eyes last and clearly you won't be using your ears."**_

_**She breathed in through her nose. "It smells sour.."** _

_**His hand was on her wrist and he helped guide her finger. She felt her breath get caught in her throat at his touch. She stumbled over her words. "I don't think its thick enough. Very watery."** _

_**She felt the spoon against her lips and she parted them slightly. She spit it out quickly off to the side. "It tastes sour too." She opened her eyes and took a good look at the potion seeing it was a pale green color.** _

" _ **So it needs to be thicken up with something that takes the sour taste away." She smiled brightly, still feeling warm from the contact with him. She knew that just looking at it wouldn't have told her everything she needed to know. She look at him, still smiling and noticed the weird look in his eyes.**_

_**The smile faded from her face. "Severus is..."** _

" _ **There is a bit of the potion on your lip." He cupped her face, using his thumb to slowly wipe her lip.**_

_**Charlotte couldn't help but close her eyes to enjoy his touch. She shuddered slightly as the patch of his thumb ran down the side of her lip.** _

' _ **Oh god,' she opened her eyes quickly realizing what she had done. 'I want him so bad.'**_

_**The small of her back was pressed against the table now and he was moving closer to her.** _

" _ **Severus." She could only manage to whisper. She swore she heard him take a large gulp of air at her voice.**_

' _ **Kiss me.' She wanted to tell him, feeling herself losing control. 'Touch me.' She silently begged.**_

_**A knock at the door stopped them, his face inches from hers. They stood frozen, staring into each other's eyes until the knock came again. He turned away from her and headed to the door. Another teacher with a quick question. When he came back, he sat back down at his desk.** _

_**He looked up at her and cleared his throat. "You may go Charlotte. Have a good night."** _

" _ **But…I thought…" she felt her cheeks heat up.**_

" _ **I have things that can't wait. See you in class."**_

" _ **Oh," the disappointment she tried to hide but couldn't manage. "Ok well goodnight then."**_

_**As she left the dungeons she swore she heard a loud bang, as if two things collided with each other. At this point, she choose to ignore it.** _

* * *

Charlotte woke up with a groan, rubbing her eyes. The two nights she had slept at Hogwarts had been filled when memories of her and her old potions professor.

That night, they had almost kissed or at least she thought they had almost kissed. She had never been fully sure if that was his attention of not.

'But it felt so real, like it had just happened.' Every feeling she had felt then, she was feeling it now.

'How different things may have been if we had actually kissed that night.'

She stretched her arms above her head, letting her legs swing over the side of the bed and reaching the floor.

'These dreams are the last thing I need right now. There is so much to worry about.' Charlotte sighed, looking over her desk which, was covered in papers. It was her first day of teaching, something she was particularly calm about. On top of that, she was worried about Ellie. She always worried when she went off to school but for some reason it was worse when she was this close to where Charlotte was.

'She'll be alright.' Charlotte told herself as she got dressed. 'she was worried about Ellie. She always worried when she went off to school but for some reason it was worse when she was this close to where Charlotte was.

'She'll be alright.' Charlotte told herself as she got dressed. 'You will see her this morning.'

Walking to class seemed to put Charlotte on edge even more, so much that she forgot what she had planned on saying to the class.

"Well as some of you may know…" she cupped her hands together, trying to stop her body from shaking. She put on the best smile she could, knowing that it probably looked force. "I am Professor Matthews."

She heard a few snickers coming from the Slytherin side of the room. She spotted Ellie who was waking someone in the head. She gave her a look before continuing.

"Now…I'm not sure what…well Professor Slughorn had taught you…or um…how he has taught you…"

She was losing interest already and by the end of the class, only Ellie was still paying attention. Watching them walk out of class when it was done was the worst part. She tried her best to ignore the mumbles about how it was going to be a long year and laughs on how it would be interesting to mess with her.

"That was great Charlotte!" Ellie waited till everyone had left.

"Don't you have class?" Charlotte rubbed her temples, trying to erase the memory.

"Yeah about that…" Ellie gave a smirk. "I wasn't exactly paying much attention on our tour. Can you show me how to get to my defence class?"

"You could have just got your classmates to show you."

Ellie pouted. "Yeah well, I wanted to talk to you. Please Charlotte?"

Charlotte wanted to say no, she knew who would be teaching the class and after this morning, would rather avoid seeing him. But she didn't want Ellie in more trouble than she would likely get into.

"Alright, come on, I will show you."

* * *

His mind was plagued with her, he couldn't help himself.

She hadn't been always on his mind since he last seen her but now that Charlotte was close again he couldn't help but wonder about how she was. He wondered what had changed, what had stayed the same, what life had brought her.

He had watched her leave dinner the other night, slowly walking out of the Great Hall, taking everything in. Her beauty had grown along with her age and he couldn't take his eyes off her. But there was something hidden beneath the happiness she tried to put out. He wasn't sure if it was anger, sadness or a mix of both.

He fought the urge to look into her mind, to see what she could be thinking.

'You've hurt her enough.' Severus told himself. 'Just leave her be.'

He knew, without having to ask that he was part of that hidden emotion. 'Not that her idiot friend did.'

He hadn't thought about Aubrey in years, he didn't want to think about her ever again.

"Look at this crusty place! Well thanks for bringing me…err Professor." A voice snapped him from his thoughts. He looked up and saw a girl he didn't recognized bearing the Slytherin crest.

The new student, he had been told about her. She was sorted into his house and by the tone of Minerva's voice when telling him, was likely to be a trouble maker. He didn't remember anything else about her, he had been more distracted then he was now.

That's when he noticed she was with the girl. Her hair pulled back in a loose bun, dressed in another set of plain robes. Severus watched her say something to the girl and let out a small sigh before her eyes flicked his way briefly. Her cheeks flushed and she pushed the girl further into the class room before scurrying out.

The fact that she was with the girl made him wonder what their relationship was. Was this her daughter? Had she moved on that quickly from him?

'She would have had to get pregnant right after she left Hogwarts.' He calculated it quickly in his head.

The girl did look familiar, not like Charlotte, perhaps someone from Hogwarts she went to school with. The girl, she must look like her father.

He began class soon after, giving a brief lesson and instructing students what textbook page they should use for the essay that would be due next class.

"Seriously? We have like a whole bunch of other classes and you want this done next week?" The girl piped up. He watched as the other students held their breath as he narrowed his eyes at her.

"This is how I run my class, now unless you would like to stand up here and teach I suggest you pull out your textbook and keep quiet."

Her eyes narrowed back to his. "I bet I would be a better teacher then you."

The girl beside her kicked her under the table.

He walked up to her desk. "Detention for your lack of respect! Just because your new here doesn't mean the rules don't apply to you girl."

"It's Ellie but you can call me Miss Andrews." She folded up her books and stood up. "Lovely see you in detention tonight. I am not staying here for this."

He could have said more but he found his voice was caught in his throat; in this moment he was happy that he had years to practice covering his true emotions up. He pushed it from his mind till class was over, moving to his office and falling back into his chair.

'Andrews,' he thought to himself. 'Of course she looked familiar. She looks like her idiot mother.'

But there was something else with that. The timing of it all, her dark hair, it all seemed too much of a coincidence for his liking. He counted back in his head, the months and realized he had no way of telling unless he knew her birthday.

'Then what will you do?' his mind asked.

Truthfully, he didn't know. Everything was happening so quickly, too quickly for his liking. She had detention with him tonight, he could pry a little then or he could just leave it be. The girl probably already had a father in her life and perhaps he wasn't even her father. Prying would only cause more issues.

When she showed up for detention that night, he told himself not to ask anything about her life, he was quiet content with his and was better off not knowing. However, it seemed that fate tempted him too well, like they wanted him to know.

"Professor…" Ellie stood in front of his desk looking like a scolded child. She gritted her teeth together. "I am sorry for my actions in your class today. It was rude and inappropriate."

He wanted to laugh at the girl who had clearly been told to apologize.

"Well Miss Andrews, we can't expect much from you can we?"

She crossed her arms. "Is this a reference to my mother? I feel like it is and let me tell you I am nothing like her even though everyone says that!"

"Perhaps you get your attitude from your father then?" It slipped out before he could stop it.

She snorted. "Yeah maybe, let me know when you find him. Then you can find out for sure."

Ellie waited for his response and when she didn't get one, she continued. "I don't know who my father is, I don't think my mother is the type to keep a stable relationship. For all I know, my father could be someone I have passed on the street or even someone here at Hogwarts."

"When is your birthday?" he knew he was acting weird now, not that she knew any better.

She gave him a funny look before answering slowly. "Febuary 12th. What gunna make me a cake or something?"

There it was, the dates matched up perfectly. Of course there was a good chance that Aubrey had slept with someone else but there was also a chance that she didn't.

He cleared his throat. "Given this is your first day here and you do get out that pitiful apology, I will give you a free pass. But Miss Andrews, next time you won't be so lucky."

She was hesitant to leave, probably thinking that it was too good to be true. But when she did, Severus was relieved that he could finally let down his mask. He closed his eyes, trying to get some kind of grasp on what was happening.

'You could have a daughter, one who happens to be at Hogwarts in your house.'

He needed to know for sure and there was only one person who would know for sure.

'Perhaps not, what about Charlotte?' he questioned to himself. 'Charlotte knew everything about her dimwitted best friend.'

He let out a groan before getting up and heading to his private rooms. He wasn't sure how to even bring it up. There was no doubt that Charlotte had come to the same conclusion when she first heard about the pregnancy but why no one had ever come to him was truly puzzling.

He would have thought that Aubrey, of all people, would want him to support the child maybe even blackmail him because he was her teacher when they slept together.

'So maybe she isn't yours.'

There was no way to be 100% sure unless he tested the girl and himself. But there were many problems with that; he would have to get something from the girl (hair, blood) and then create the potion to test it. In order to get the supplies he needed, he would have to go through the new Potions Mistress.

That would be the biggest issue, he just knew it.

* * *

Charlotte slowly made her way down the halls, checking to see if there were any students left after curfew.

"Oh hey Charlotte." Ellie's voice made her stop and turn sharply, making sure she heard correctly.

"Why are you not in detention?"

"Geez chill," Ellie stretched her arms over her head and gave a small yawn. "He let me out early."

"He what?" Charlotte felt her eyes go wide.

"Let me out early." Ellie said slowly. "Guess that apology worked. What a weird guy though. I can't believe you liked him."

Charlotte tried to ignore her flushed cheeks. "I did not…"

"Yeah yeah, whatever. Anyways as I was saying, he is a strange one. Asking about my birthday and father, I don't know if he is just an awkwardly dedicated head of house or just normally weird like that."

"Get to bed now." Charlotte put her hand on Ellie's back, pushing her gently forward. "Before I have to give you trouble."

"But Charlotte…"

"Now."

Ellie pouted even as she turned the corner away from Charlotte and towards the Slytherin dorms.

'Damnit.' Charlotte leaned against the wall.

'You had to know he would figure it out eventually.' she told herself. 'Just maybe not that quickly.'

"So what now?" she mumbled, pushing her body from the wall and heading back to her own rooms.

'Talk to him or let it be?'

Charlotte pictured herself heading to his office, demanding to know why he questioned Ellie and then pictured another scenario where she just came clean about the whole thing.

Fear ran through her and her body felt numb at the thought of having a conversation with him again. She knew that she should go talk to him, for Ellie's sake, but she also knew that she couldn't deal with talking to him again, not yet.

'You're selfish.' Her mind yelled. 'There is no real reason you should tell them both!'

She kept walking towards her room, her mind telling her to turn around and find him.

'It's not Ellie's fault this happened! Why punish her? Let him deal with it. Be supportive but make him own up to what he did! This isn't your fault it happened either.'

This really didn't have anything to do with Charlotte and that was the worst part of it all.

 


	5. Confessions of a Broken Heart

" _ **Get out of here Aubrey, Eloise is asleep. You can see her tomorrow."**_

" _ **Who said I came to see her?"**_

_**Ellie peaked out from the top of the stairs at the sound of her mother's voice. She could see the bottom half of Charlotte and her mother in the living room.** _

" _ **Aubrey go away. I don't want to see you."**_

" _ **But Charlotte…" her mother's voice was slurred. "I miss you!"**_

_**Charlotte let out a loud sigh; Ellie could tell she was getting frustrated. "You just don't get it do you?"** _

_**She was trying to stay calm; Charlotte rarely got this angry at anything. But lately when it came to Ellie's mother, she was having a hard time keeping her cool.** _

" _ **You abandoned your child. You have wanted nothing to do with her since she was born. How do you think Eloise feels? Do you think she is happy knowing this?"**_

" _ **What have you been telling her Charlotte?" her mother sounded like she was a cat toying with a mouse.**_

" _ **I didn't have to tell her anything, it isn't too hard to figure out."**_

" _ **Oh I see. Someone has a backbone all the sudden."**_

_**Ellie crept down further when she was confident Charlotte and her mother wouldn't notice her.** _

" _ **When it comes to her yes. Now get out!" Charlotte stepped forward, fire in her eyes and her lips pressed together.**_

" _ **No," Aubrey slinked her arm around Charlotte and leaned it. "You asked a question. Of course I know how she feels. She is**_ _ **my**_ _ **daughter."**_

" _ **Is that really what you think? Are you that clueless?" Charlotte pulled away, running her hands through her hair. She took a large breath in before turning back around. "Aubrey just come back tomorrow and we can talk."**_

" _ **NO!" Aubrey picked up the closest thing she could find and tossed it towards Charlotte's head. Charlotte ducked out of the way in time to avoid the picture frame that had been whipped at her. "We are a family and when I say we talk, you have to listen!"**_

" _ **My god you're unbelievable." Charlotte shook her head, picking up the frame looking at it for a moment before turning back to her. "A family? Who was taking care of her? Who taught her how to walk or to read? Who made her meals and who buys what she needs? Who had always been there for her?" Charlotte walked over to the front door and flung it open. "Get out Aubrey, I won't tell you again."**_

_**Aubrey slowly staggered to the door and stopped when she was inches away from Charlotte.** _

" _ **Fine Charlotte, you win this one. That piece of paper says she is yours but don't forget she will always call me mother, she will always want me over you and she will always love me more then you. Don't forget that."**_

_**With those words, Aubrey left, slamming the door behind her.** _

_**Ellie watched as Charlotte stared at the door for a few moments before heading to the couch, the picture still in her hand. She sank down into the couch, staring at the picture.** _

_**Charlotte closed her eyes and leaned her head back mumbling something to herself that Ellie couldn't make out. Slowly, she crept back up the stairs and snuggled up back into her bed, decided that Charlotte deserved some time to herself.** _

* * *

'That was so long ago.' Ellie thought as she watched Charlotte fumble her words to the class. 'How is it she can be like that sometimes and then most other times be like this?'

Ellie attempted to listen to the lesson but over the past month Charlotte had gotten more nervous as she taught. It was hard to understand what she meant sometimes, making it even harder to take notes.

'It doesn't help that everyone is a bunch of idiots.' Ellie caught sight of two girls in front of her snickering. She crumpled up a piece of paper and aimed it towards the laughter. When he hit them, the group turned and she gave them a look and they turned back around.

Ellie knew that Charlotte could be a great teacher, she had taught Ellie for her entire life but she wasn't sure if or how that could help Charlotte. Plus even if she wanted to say something, Charlotte was making that impossible as she wouldn't talk alone with her for more than five minutes. Ellie chalked it up to her being stressed about teaching but deep down, she felt as if it was something more.

'She's not the only one acting weird.'

Professor Snape also seemed to be treating her differently, at least differently compared to others. He did his best to avoid her; he would never call her name out not matter how high she raised her hand. He never made snide remarks at her for anything. It was to the point where Ellie thought she could dance around his classroom naked and he still wouldn't acknowledge her.

'Not that I would ever do that.' In a way she came to respect her defence Professor. He was a decent teacher (even if others thought differently) and seemed to know what he was talking about.

'Charlotte should take some pointers from him.'

"Ellie sit here!" A Slytherin boy patted the seat beside him as she entered the Defence classroom. She shot a look of disgust; this boy had been hitting on her all week and from what she heard about him, all he wanted was in her pants.

"I'm fine here." She took an empty desk and opened up her book.

It was never that Ellie wasn't interested in dating, she just hadn't found someone who peeked her interest. The boys her age always seemed so immature and not worth wasting her time on. She barely had friends even at her old school. There were people who always wanted to sit with her and hang out with her and sometimes, she would do it. But usually Ellie found herself wanting to go back to her room and be by herself. She found it hard to relate to anyone her age really, perhaps because she felt she had dealt with more than they could image. From constantly moving, to dealing with her mother and not having a father. It was hard to find someone who understood.

'I miss it being me and Charlotte.' Ellie would always feel this way when she left for school. But now it should be different, Charlotte was here with her. 'But too busy with her own stuff.'

It made her think about her mother, how things might be different if she had been there more. The thoughts put her on edge; she didn't want to think about her mother, it felt like she was betraying Charlotte in a way.

What her mother said long ago though, was true, as much as Ellie didn't want it to be. She yearned for her mother in a way she never yearned for Charlotte despite the fact Charlotte had been like her mother for the entire fourteen years she had been alive.

The fact that Professor Snape never paid her much attention allowed her to blank out, letting her mind go through more thoughts; the class flew by leaving Ellie to have the rest of the day to herself.

She went to the library alone, returning her book from the other day and grabbing another and then headed to dinner by herself as well. Ellie felt as if she was in a trance, plagued by the thoughts that she wished would stop popping up.

'My father, I want him too.' She hated to admit that most of all. There were so many things Charlotte had done for her but the one thing she couldn't give her was the thing she wanted the most.

'What is he like? Would he leave me like mom did?' she questioned to herself when heading back from dinner.

Ellie made it to her room and laid on her bed, looking up; she wanted someone to talk to. Someone who would understand and not feel hurt by what she felt. Charlotte was always out of the question and her mother would use it to rub into Charlotte's face that was if she would even respond. Her grandparents wouldn't get it.

'Would he want to know? Would I want to tell him?' Ever since Professor Snape had brought up her father, she couldn't help but think about him like this. She had never really had anything remotely like a father figure in her life; her mother, when she was around, never brought men home who stayed for more than a night and if Charlotte ever had a boyfriend, he was never brought around.

'Charlotte with a boyfriend? She can barely look at a guy she finds attractive let alone date one.'

There was one man she was sure Charlotte had feelings for, at least in the past. It made her wonder what had happened between the two. 'Charlotte can deny it all she wants, I know something happened.'

She glanced at the picture of her and Charlotte that sat on her side table. 'I mean Professor Snape probably doesn't have ladies lining up at his door. He isn't the best looking or nicest guy so Charlotte liking him would be the equivalent to wining to gold star.

'Plus they both like potions and I feel like he might be a reader too, just like me and Charlotte. So then what was it?'

Idea ran through Ellie's mind quickly; she thought about every idea but some didn't make sense and some just didn't seem right.

'He could have slept with someone else.' She bit her nail. 'Charlotte could have found out and been upset.'

But Ellie knew that wasn't like Charlotte; if they two hadn't been together, Charlotte would have no reason to be so upset that she never spoke about him again. She would have either gotten over it then tried to work it out with him or just let it go and been done with it.

'Unless it was with someone Charlotte was close too, anyone could be angry about that for a long time.'

Something clicked in Ellie's head and she held her breath as the realization came to her. There wasn't many people Charlotte was close too and before Ellie was born there was really only one person Charlotte trusted.

"But wait…" she spoke out loud, piecing the puzzle together. She counted back in her head from her own birthday quickly.

'So if mom slept with him before they left school and mom got pregnant after school…' She stood up and ran over to the mirror.

'I look my mother, everyone knows that. Just not my hair. It's exactly like his…well less greasy.'

She stared at herself for a long time before realizing that she needed to talk to someone. At first, she began to make her way to Charlotte before she stopped herself.

'If Charlotte knew and kept this from me, I doubt she will tell me the truth now.' Instead her feet began to take her another way. If there was one person who could understand, it would be him.

'But what if he knew and then he just didn't want to see you?'

Ellie knew that there was a chance of that but, her questions moved her feet quickly. She didn't care if the truth made her want to die, all she wanted now was answers.

She knocked on his classroom door, glad to see he was alone.

Shutting the door she marched up to his desk. "Tell me the truth."

He raised his eyebrow. "Hello to you too Miss…"

She banged her fist on the desk. "Cut the shit. Just tell me the truth."

Ellie thought he would throw her out at the moment, she wasn't sure what she would do then. She did her best to keep a straight face, staring him down. He laced his fingers together and leaned forward. "Go on."

"Did you sleep with my mother when she was a student? At the end of her last year."

He sat up straight instantly and narrowed his eyes. "Miss Andrews I don't think that's…"

"I don't care if I shouldn't ask it!" she banged her first again. "I think I deserve to know the truth!" her anger bubbled more and she continued on, not giving him a chance to speak.

"I have been waiting my whole life to find my father, begged to know the truth and no one will tell me!"

Ellie couldn't stop herself now, feeling the words run from her mouth faster than she could think. "My whole life I have been asking Charlotte, my grandparents and even my mother once about who my father was! I could never understand how no one had any idea or why they wouldn't try to look. It just didn't make sense until I met you and saw how Charlotte reacted around you!"

"You broke her heart right? Charlotte's that is. I think you slept with my mother and I think Charlotte was in love with you at the time! That's why she won't tell me who my father is because she was stuck raising me, the child of her best friend and the man she loved! That's why she could never tell me!"

Ellie had to stop, feeling unable to speak any longer. She leaned forward on the desk, breathing heavy, feeling the adrenaline in her body slowly leave. She looked up to him, her eyes beginning to fill up. "Please tell me if you knew about me or not? That you didn't give up on me because she is my mother."

He watched her for a few moments and then stood up and walked over to her; she stood up and turned to him. She watched slowly as his guarded expression faded away slightly. He let out a sigh and met her eyes.

"I didn't know."

Ellie felt her body begin to tremble. 'The truth,' her mind cried out. 'I've waited for so long for it.'

The wave of emotions hit her like a ton of bricks and she collapsed to the floor, letting the tears begin to fall.

 


	6. Why Can't I?

" _ **Miss Matthews?" Charlotte turned to the voice, seeing one of the nurses smiling at her.**_

" _ **Yes?"**_

" _ **There might be a problem." She began slowly. "I know this is…well perhaps a little informal of me but I am very worried. Aubrey doesn't seem to be very interested in the baby…"**_

_**Charlotte already knew how to reply; she read about this happening. The baby blues, postpartum depression, whatever you wanted to call it. She knew that Aubrey could be fine one day and the next be a total wreck.** _

" _ **I know about this….it's her hormones right?"**_

" _ **No, no." The nurse seemed nervous as she took a quick peak into the room. "Aubrey is emotionally and mentally fine. But she had has zero interest in Eloise. I probably shouldn't be saying this but, that child is already and angel. She needs someone to protect her…"**_

_**Charlotte took a look into the room. There was another nurse holding out the crying baby to Aubrey who she waved her hand away and shook her head no.** _

" _ **I know the father isn't in the picture and I haven't seen anyone visit her but you. I know you two live together and it's a lot to ask…care for that child when she can't. Give her a good life."**_

_**Charlotte wasn't sure what to say; she was still so young and she had a life she wanted to live.** _

' _ **No, I life I need to live. Just like I promised them.'**_

_**But she knew Aubrey well enough to know that if there was no interest now, there might not ever be one.** _

' _ **Eloise did nothing wrong, she deserves a good life.'**_

" _ **Unless…" she turned at the nurse's voice. "You went to find her father. You are still very young Miss Matthews and you seem like a very intelligent girl. I would hate to see you throw away your life when you don't have too."**_

_**She wasn't sure what to do at that moment but she did know one thing for sure; she was going to give Eloise a good life no matter what the cost.** _

" _ **I'll do it." She put her hand on the door handle. "I'll make sure she is taken care of either way."**_

" _ **Thank you." Her voice wavered. "You're such a selfless young lady."**_

_**Charlotte didn't wait for the other nurse to walk away as she stepped into the room and walked over to the bed swiftly. She reached out for the baby who was still crying.** _

" _ **I'll take her." Charlotte held Eloise in her arms, cradling her and rocking slowly. The nurse gave a sigh of relief before leaving.**_

" _ **So," Aubrey glanced at Charlotte. "That's how you make her shut up?"**_

_**Charlotte felt the urge to scream, throw something, anything to make Aubrey realize what was happening.** _

' _ **She had a baby and she doesn't care. How can she even do that?'**_

_**Charlotte stared down at the infant who looked up at her with bright eyes.** _

' _ **It could be a phase, she might get over it. There is nothing saying that she won't change…'**_

_**So in that moment, Charlotte choose not to pick a fight. She had bigger things to worry about.** _

* * *

She knew at this point, she should be better than she was. She knew her students were suffering at the hands of her inability to teach. She didn't know how to fix it; she felt helpless and alone. That's how it was sometimes, she learned to live with it.

Charlotte looked through her notes, trying to get some grasp on what she would do next class. Her heart raced and her palms began to feel cold and wet.

'You need to do something different.' She tried to tell herself. 'This isn't working.'

It was if she was lost in a fog and had no way to get out. She just kept searching for the light; wandering aimlessly through the darkness of the school year.

A knock of the door made her almost jump from her seat. Her voice felt horse as she told the visitor to come in. Charlotte blinked twice and stopped herself from rubbing her eyes, thinking perhaps her vision was blurred.

"Charlotte." He said her name and it made her body tremble.

'He's here. What is he doing here? Stay calm. Stay calm.'

"Severus." Was all she managed to get out. She took a breath in but couldn't seem to let go of it; holding on, like it was her last.

"I hope I'm not intruding but I have a favor to ask."

She wanted to say yes but instead stood there for a minute trying to force herself to talk. She finally gave up, giving a small nod.

"I am brewing a personal potion and I was in need of some supplies. I was wondering if I could perhaps take them from the store room." He walked up to her desk and passed her a list over. She briefly looked over it and nodded again.

"Excellent, thank you." He turned to leave.

She somehow manage to take a breath in, feeling the air fill her lungs. She wasn't sure if it was because he was being so kind to her or if she was just yearning for the advice and didn't know where to turn.

"How can I teach better?" she nearly screamed at him, her speech quicker then she intended.

Stopping in place, he turned on his heel and faced her again. He looked to be hiding a smirk which, only made Charlotte's cheeks redden.

"You know what you're talking about don't you? Minerva wouldn't have hired you if you didn't. Stop worry about what they think of you. You don't have to sit there and please them."

"I don't…" she tried to put in but he stopped her.

"From what I heard you whimper away like a teased classmate when they don't listen. You're their superior, not the student anymore."

For some, his words may have stung a bit but for Charlotte, it was like day had finally come after a long month of night. His honesty about it all was more of a relief than she could have asked for. She turned back up to him to give thanks.

But he was gone.

She knew he was right though, she had been trying to get their approval more than anything instead of focusing on what she needed to be doing. Teaching them.

'I wanted them to like me and instead I've been shooting myself in the foot.'

The stress was gone just like that. His words awakened something in her and brought out her determination and strength. Her heart stopped racing and her palms dried up; she wasn't nervous anymore. She was ready.

She opened up the drawer in her desk and shoved all her notes in.

'I can do this. I just know I can.'

* * *

Charlotte waited as the class walked in; she watched Ellie take her usual spot but looking less like herself.

'Check on her after.' Charlotte noted, not wanting her confidence to disappear or for Ellie to be centered out.

"Alright everyone." She began, clapping her hands together. "I am going to try and do things a little differently today."

She took a breath in, feeling slightly shaky.

Charlotte began her lesson, making sure she stood tall and her voice stayed strong. Some students looked confused while other looked please at their professor's new teaching style. Somehow the class flew by and Charlotte knew that everyone seemed to be understanding more.

She ended the class with a funny story and let them out early. She felt a wave of pride run through her, hearing the students sing her praises as they left the classroom. The only one who didn't looked please, was the one girl she wanted to please the most.

"Ellie," Charlotte grabbed her gently by the shoulder. "Everything okay?"

Ellie put on a smile that, Charlotte knew to be fake. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Charlotte let out a snort. "That's believable."

"No seriously," Ellie started. "I'm just not feeling that great. A girl in my dorm had some stomach flu or something last week. I think I might be getting that."

Charlotte's gut told her to push on but when Ellie gave her a true smile and complimented her on the class, she figured it was better to let it go for now.

'Maybe I am overthinking it.' She told herself as Ellie left the room.

'Or maybe she is upset because of being practically ignored.'

Charlotte hadn't meant to give Ellie the cold shoulder but with everything racing around her mind, it was hard to look at her, let alone talk to her, without feeling guilty. Charlotte understood the pain of being without parents; the hurt you live with every day. She understood why Ellie would want answers and she also understood that it was wrong to keep those answers from her.

'I just can't.' the memories flooded back just thinking about it. To admit there was even a chance would call back everything she had worked her hardest to get over for years.

'You're still being selfish, not matter what way you twist it.'

"Soon," she spoke out loud. "I will tell her soon."

The rest of the day was filled with worries on what she should do, when she would do it and how to go about it. Charlotte was thankful though, she managed to get her classes under wraps and that, it wasn't just a fluke that she had one good class.

She ate supper alone, noticing that Severus was not there; she had almost considered asking him what he was making since she didn't have a chance to ask him before.

'You have to talk to him eventually anyways.' She knew it was true and perhaps small talk was better to start out.

She headed back to her rooms, jumping into the shower, trying to wash away all the confusion and pain.

'I wonder how Ellie is doing.' It was a daily thought for Charlotte since Ellie had first left for school years ago. She always was anxious to receive a letter, letting her know what a good time Ellie was having at school and about how her grades were. 'Now she is here and I can barely talk to her.'

Charlotte put on some night clothing and then pulled out her wand, drying her hair with a spell and sat down on the bed, picking up the book that sat on her side table. She opened it up, her eyes scanning the same line over and over again until she put the book back down with a sigh.

The guilt was becoming overwhelming to the point where she couldn't think about anything but it.

'I have to tell them. There is no use fighting it anymore. This weekend. I will tell him first and we can go to her together.'

'How?' the question that had danced around her mind for weeks. 'How do you tell someone something they should have heard years ago and you didn't because you were being immature about it all.'

Her mind took her to today, remembering how kind Severus had been to her even if it wasn't his intentions. 'He was just as I remembered. I felt like I could trust him still. Maybe he will understand or aybe he just acted that way because he wanted the supplies. Either way he helped me….'

Her thoughts stopped, repeating the words over in her mind again. Something felt off as she replayed what had happened between the two over again. Then it came to her, like a swift smack in the face. Charlotte jumped from her bed, running out the door without worrying about shoes or anything else.

'Damnit!' she mentally kicked herself. 'I am an idiot!'

'He knew how it would affect me to see him again and he used that to his advantage!'

She raced down the hall way, running over the ingredients he asked for again to be sure, telling herself it couldn't be a coincidence.

Charlotte had made the potion quite a few times; there were many people in the wizarding world who wanted DNA testing done privately, especially in the higher class families. Once you got into the good graces of one, you seemed to be in all of them. That was how Charlotte had made a good chunk of money over the tears.

She knew it didn't take long to brew, a half a day at most. That meant that either she would get there just in time or just too late.

'You were going to tell him! Why be mad?' she asked herself as her feet seemed to fly.

'He's doing it behind my back! He has no right!' Charlotte felt herself seeing red.

By the time she reached his office, her breathing had became heavy and erratic. Even as she reached up and knocked on the door, she was still trying to catch her breath. She knocked again, sensing no presence coming to the door. After the third time, she gave up and tried the knob. She twisted it and pushed forward, the door opening with ease.

Two faces turned to her as she walked in Ellie and Severus looked as surprised as the other.

"What in the hell…" Charlotte couldn't finish because she caught site of the potion that was glowing red. She stumbled back against the door, feeling her body run cold.

She was his.


	7. The Calm Before the Storm

" _ **Charlotte?" the voice made her turn from the box she had begun to tape up.**_

" _ **What's wrong Eloise?" she stood up, walking over to the girl. Her dark hair fell past her shoulders onto her pink nightgown and brown teddy bear.**_

" _ **Where is mommy?" she rubbed her eyes. "Mommy didn't say goodnight. She promised she would when she got home."**_

_**Charlotte picked the girl up and heading up the stairs, holding the girl's head to her shoulder.** _

" _ **Mom is just a little busy. Let's get you into bed again."**_

_**She gave a small sound of protest as she was laid back down into the bed. She blinked up at Charlotte a few times, almost as if she was trying to figure out where she was.** _

" _ **Why don't I have a daddy?"**_

_**Charlotte held her breath; she knew one day this question would come. She had started school, seeing other children dropped off by their dads, her little friends talk about how their mother and father took them away for the weekend.** _

" _ **I…I don't know.' Charlotte couldn't find a better answer then that. To a small child, that would make more sense than the entire truth.**_

" _ **Emily at school told me all these things her mommy does for her and mommy doesn't do anything like that for me. You do Charlotte. So how come you do all that stuff for me Charlotte? Are you really my mommy?"**_

_**Charlotte leaned down and kissed her softly on the head. She pulled back with a soft smile, not letting her worry show. "That is more of a question for when you're older. Your mom is your mother but I will always be here for you."** _

_**Eloise gave a small smile as her eyes fluttered.** _

" _ **Always my Charlotte."**_

" _ **That's right." Charlotte whispered, standing up slowly to leave the room. "I will always be here for you."**_

* * *

Charlotte was frozen to the spot, staring in shock at the ruby colored potion. It only took her a moment to turn her sights to the pair before her.

'Stay calm…' she told herself. 'Ellie just wanted to know…'

She knew there was no way she would ever be truly upset with Ellie, not about something like this. But when it came it Severus that was an entirely different situation. A familiar feeling ran through her, a feeling from a long time ago that knotted her stomach. The same feeling she had when she was told by Aubrey what had happened.

Her heart was racing wildly; she felt the heat rush to her cheeks but it wasn't out of embarrassment as usual. All the anger she had for him came back to her. Not just about in the past; he had used her when he walked into the classroom. He knew how Charlotte would react to him and knew he could use that to his advantage.

'Even if he didn't know. I wouldn't have said no to him.'

The anger within her boiled over.

"How dare you!" she screamed, marching up to him with her finger raised. "You….you…you…"

She let out a growl of frustration, unable to find the words.

"Charlotte it was me!" Ellie's voice made the anger simmer slightly. "I was going to make the potion today regardless if he helped me or not! I would have stolen the supplies from you if I needed too! He was helping me!"

She glanced at Ellie and then back to him. "Why didn't you come to me? Why tell her?" she was still yelling.

"Come to you?" Ellie moved closer to them, letting out a hollow laugh that reminded her of Aubrey. "You didn't even tell him I existed for almost fifteen years!"

Charlotte took a breath in, trying to stay calm with Ellie but her breath came out staggered.

'She doesn't understand, she doesn't get it.'

Ellie didn't give her a chance to say anything. "I found out myself Charlotte. I came to him and asked if he knew anything. He didn't know anything. Mom didn't say anything just like you."

She could hear the bitterness in Ellie's voice as she spoke. Each word sounding more and more like Aubrey's voice.

"God it's like you're as bad as her! You two have every reason to be best friends."

Charlotte knew Ellie irrationally lashed out when she was upset, that she didn't mean what she said. She didn't have to turn around to see the same fire in her eyes that Charlotte had minutes ago.

"I hat…."

"Ellie." Severus's tone made the two look towards him. "Please allow Charlotte and myself to have a conversation privately."

"But…"

"Now."

Charlotte watched as he spoke. He already cared about Ellie and was trying to be a father despite just finding out tonight that he was her father for sure.

Ellie never stopped glaring as she left the room. She turned back to Severus.

She wanted to be angry, loose her mind. She knew that it was so much more than this and it was so much easy to use that as an excuse to let her frustration with him out. She didn't want to feel guilty. Not right now.

'You should feel guilty. The minute you found about Aubrey being pregnant you should have picked up your quill and wrote him.'

Standing before him like this, remaindered her of the day she snapped on him. She had almost lost it then but she was older and less afraid of consequences now; she wished for years she would have stood up to him and just lost it. She wanted him to hurt like her, understood how she felt that last month at Hogwarts.

"Now,' he began. "Let's talk about this."

This was her chance.

 

 


	8. Just Like a Pill

_**Ellie sat watching Charlotte bag up clothing that belonged to her mother. When she finished packing a bag, Charlotte walked to the door and dropped the bag across from it.** _

" _ **So mommy is going?"**_

_**Charlotte didn't answer; she didn't want Ellie here but had no one else to leave her with. Ellie's grandparents were on vacation for the month and Charlotte really didn't trust anyone else.** _

" _ **We don't need her." Charlotte paused at Ellie's words.**_

_**Even at the tender age of 6, she was smart enough to know that the two of them would be okay.** _

_**Charlotte didn't response to her, continuing on with her task at hand.** _

_**Ellie could sense something was off with Charlotte and that wasn't just because she was kicking Aubrey out. She just couldn't figure out what was wrong, the truth too far out of reach for his child mind. She had been with her grandparents for the weekend, a visit before they left for the month. Charlotte had still been Charlotte when she left but when Ellie came home, everything was different.** _

_**It was like Charlotte was gone.** _

_**She had told Ellie they would move in the next few months and that her mother would not be joining them. Ellie never questioned it, her mother was barely there anyways.** _

_**She sat down on the couch waiting for the door to open up. When it finally did, her mother walked in looking more pitiful then she had ever seen her. Her hair was a mess, makeup ran down her face and her clothing was damp. She stared at the bags on the floor until she turned to Ellie's approaching footsteps.** _

_**A hopeful look crossed Aubrey's eyes until she realized who was in front of her.** _

_**Despite not caring about her mother leaving, she wanted something from her. More then what she got.** _

" _ **Where is Charlotte?"**_

_**Ellie's face dropped. "She's…"** _

" _ **I'm here." Charlotte's voice sounded as dead as her mother looked.**_

_**Aubrey began to tear up. "Please Charlotte I'm…"** _

" _ **Just take your stuff and go." Charlotte walked to her and pushed an envelope into her hand. "Take this too."**_

_**Her mother opened it, tears now falling from her eyes and down her cheek. "I don't want your money. I want to be here."** _

_**Ellie watched her mother reach up and touch the throat of Charlotte's turtle neck. "I didn't mean…"** _

_**Charlotte shakily moved her hand away and Aubrey's hand dropped to her own side.** _

" _ **There is enough for a couple of months." Charlotte began. "I can't give you any more than that."**_

" _ **Charlotte…" her mother was begging now.**_

" _ **You can come see Eloise whenever you want too. Just let me know when that is. I will also let you know when we move." Charlotte took another step back. "But take your stuff and go."**_

_**Aubrey's lips twitched, wanting to say more. Her eyes were searching for any kind of hope left in Charlotte. It only took a few moments for Aubrey to begin to pick up her bags and shoving them all into a smaller purse.** _

_**Charlotte turned to Ellie. "Give your mother a hug."** _

_**Ellie did as she was told but didn't feel her mother hug back. "I love you mom."** _

_**She waited for a response but was gently pushed away.** _

_**Aubrey gave a final look to Charlotte who had already began to walk away.** _

_**Then her mother was gone.** _

* * *

Ellie could feel her heart pumping harder than it ever had before; she crunched her teeth together, biting down on her tongue, stopping herself from running back into the room.

She hadn't left, there was no way she could no matter what anyone told her. She wanted to no what Charlotte had to say. No, she needed to know.

She peaked into the room through the door she had left slightly ajar. Charlotte wouldn't see her since her back was still towards the door and at this moment, her father seemed to be more focused on the woman in front of him than anything else.

'My father.' She felt weird even thinking it.

"Now," his voice made her focus again. "Let's talk about this."

"Is there really anything to talk about?" Charlotte snapped. "You have your answer, don't you?"

He grabbed her wrist as she tried to turn towards the door, clearly wanting to leave.

"Going to lecture me now Severus?" she sneered. Ellie had never realized Charlotte could ever sound that cruel.

"No I think you're far too old for that."

They stood silently for a few moments; Ellie had no way of seeing Charlotte's face but she could hear the rage coming back with every word that had left her lips. "You had no right…."

His grip seemed to tighten. "I had no right? I had every right to find out if I had a child that I didn't know about for fifteen years! I had every right to know about her!" He dropped her wrist but his words were still sharp enough to burn. "Neither you or your dimwitted pal though to mention something?"

Charlotte didn't answer but was still facing him.

"Her, I expected nothing from but you, I at least thought would be smart enough to tell me the truth."

"So much for not lecturing." Charlotte hissed.

"Well Miss Matthews perhaps you needed it."

Ellie heard it before she registered what had happened. The smack was louder than any one she had ever heard before. His face was turned to the side and his eyes were wide; he hadn't expected that from Charlotte. Ellie didn't even expect it.

"You think I wanted to see you!" Charlotte was screaming now. "You think I wanted you in my life after what you did?

She was crying now but didn't seem to care. "You think I didn't wait for a letter? For anything from you? Aubrey got to fuck you and what did I get? Nothing, absolutely nothing!"

Her voice was going raw as she let out a laugh that sent a chill down Ellie's spine. "No wait, I got a book. A fucking book. That's it. That's all I meant to you."

Ellie watched her father's face change and he reached out for her. "Charlotte…."

He was begging her, just like her mother had when Charlotte kicked her out.

Ellie felt her stomach turn and her heart ache. She knew Charlotte was in pain and so was her father.

'I didn't make things any better. I almost told Charlotte I hated her. I could never hate her!' Ellie mentally kicked herself. Sure, she was extremely upset but deep down she knew that Charlotte had given up her a life, a possibly rich and fulfilling life, to clean up a mess she didn't ask for.

"Don't," Charlotte stepped back and wiped her eyes. "You don't get to apologize. I waited for apologies. The time for sorry is long gone."

She had turned now and was heading towards the door; Ellie made a mad dash behind a pillar, watching Charlotte disappear into the dark hallway. She waited for a few moments until she was sure Charlotte wasn't coming back then went back into the classroom.

He was still staring at the place where Charlotte had stood, his eyes glazed over. He didn't notice her until she moved into his direct line of vision. He seemed to snap out of it as he shook his head lightly and looked to her.

"Why is it that I am not surprised you didn't go to bed?"

"Probably because I act too much like my mom right?" Ellie realized the second after it left her lips, it probably wasn't the right thing to say.

"You okay?" she asked him.

"I'm fine."

They stood still for a moment. Ellie bit her lip, unsure of what to say.

"So Charlotte seemed pretty mad at you. I've never heard her sweat that much in less than ten minutes."

He gave a small sigh and turned away. "She's not mad."

Ellie didn't question it; for once she understood completely.

 


	9. In Good Time

_**Her lips, her hair hanging over her face, her rare smiles; that's what he dreamt about that night.** _

_**They had begun their sessions together a few months before and since then he couldn't help but find her more than tolerable. He had never had that before, a student he felt that he could be in the same room for five minutes without wanting to hex them.** _

_**He was still young, the youngest professor at Hogwarts but that didn't mean he related to any of them or found them manageable. Well, none accept for Charlotte.** _

_**She was different than the others; he was able to speak to her with full confidence that she would understand and take an interest to what he was saying. She didn't judge him, like all the other students did. If anything, she seemed to respect him.** _

_**He first thoughts was that she would be a good companion, someone he would be able to bounce ideas off of and have a decent conversation with. But now it was different.** _

_**He didn't know when it had changed but when he saw what was happening, it hit him full force.** _

_**He saw himself kissing her, running his hands over the small of her back while she breathlessly whispered his name against his lips.** _

" _ **Is everything okay Professor?"**_

_**He turned quickly to her; her hair pulled back and her eyes staring up at him.** _

" _ **Fine, how is the potion?"**_

_**He walked over to the desk she stood at. She was holding her bottom lip between her teeth as her eyes peered down into the cauldron. "Well I think I've done it right But I don't really know…"** _

_**He almost lost control right then and there; his need for her growing stronger with each passing second. He wanted to take her lip from between her teeth and slowly trail his tongue against it until it met her own.** _

" _ **It's fine." He moved away quickly before it got too far. Once he started, there was no way he could stop.**_

" _ **Oh good." She sounded relieved at his words. "Is there anything else you need professor?"**_

_**He tried not to look at her. "No I am alright."** _

" _ **Alright professor, goodnight then."**_

_**He could hear her soft footsteps heading to the door.** _

' _ **Don't turn.' He told himself. 'If you turn, it won't stop. Let her go.'**_

_**He hadn't heard the door open and he realized she was hesitant to leave. He let himself look, meeting her eyes for a moment before her cheeks were tinted with pink and she looked to the floor.** _

" _ **I'm sorry professor I…I...just…um…thought…"**_

" _ **Severus. You can call me Severus."**_

_**She had stopped stuttering, staring at him wide eyed with her mouth hanging open. Her pink cheeks had turned even rosier and she wrung her hands quickly together, staring down at them the entire time.** _

_**He wasn't sure what had made him say that. Perhaps it was to make him closer to her in a subtle way.** _

_**She took a breath in. His heart was racing.** _

" _ **In…in private?" she kept her head down but lifted her eyes.**_

_**He cleared his throat. "Yes, of course."** _

" _ **Oh okay." She looked back down smiling this time. Her eyes moved back up to him. "I'm Charlotte."**_

_**It only took a moment for her eyes to go wide and the flush run to her neck. She looked horrified and he held back a chuckle of amusement at her reaction.** _

" _ **I didn't mean I'm Charlotte….NO! I am Charlotte….I just mean...please call me Charlotte in private!" her head landed in her hands and he could tell she was mentally kicking herself.**_

_**He decided it was best to let her off the hook, no matter how cute he found her embarrassment.** _

" _ **Goodnight Charlotte." She looked out, letting out another breath with a tiny smile, her redness fading away slowly.**_

" _ **Goodnight Severus."**_

* * *

It had been a week and a half since he had seen her last; a week since she had stood in front of him. He had wondered if she had remained the same girl after all these years and while bit of that girl were still present she had changed. A little stranger than before but the most astonishing change was that Charlotte had become stronger than he ever imagined she would become.

'After dealing with Andrews after all those years, it was bound to happen.'

It took his mind a second to remember that there was two Andrews's girls now and one happened to be his daughter.

He felt the shock of it all the day after when he had finally wrapped his mind around what happened with Charlotte. Then that took him a day or two before he could think about it without feeling his stomach twist. After the shock wore off, questions popped into his mind like wildfire. None of the questions bothered him more than the first one.

'Why would Andrews not have come to me?' Aubrey was the first one he would have expected to ask for some kind of support at least on the financial side of things. He only formed somewhat of an answer when he thought back to the night that changed it all.

_**"I don't have anyone who will take care of me like Charlotte does. I need her more than you ever could. Now she hates you. You can't ruin anything for me"** _

He never realized how terrifying she had sounded when speaking those words, almost like a woman driven mad by the love of a man. Aubrey's need to have Charlotte around was apparent, even at Hogwarts.

'How much worse did it get?' he had asked himself before coming to his conclusion. Aubrey didn't want Severus in the way of her and Charlotte. Asking him for any kind of help was like inviting him back into Charlotte's life.

He had been a pawn in her game and once he was off the board, she never needed him again.

Severus wished he could feel happy about that. But Aubrey's ignorance had cost him fourteen years he could have spent with his daughter and it had cost Ellie a father.

"Hey!" Her voice surprised him. "I knocked but apparently you were zoned out or something."

She sat down across from him with a sigh.

"I miss Charlotte," she pouted. "Can you just talk to her now?"

He raised his eyebrow. "And why can't you?"

"I don't think Charlotte's ever ben this mad at me," Ellie whined overdramatically. "I'm not sure how much more I can handle! I don't even think I have seen her ever this mad period!"

"I'm surprised since she had been dealing with your mother." He leaned back, realizing he was in for more whining. "Though she always had a soft spot for her."

"Charlotte use to let mom do whatever she wanted!" she held up her hand, lifting up a finger with each example. "Mom wanted some money to drink, Charlotte would give her some. Mom wanted to disappear for a month, Charlotte would always make sure when were there when she got back. If mom asked Charlotte to rob a bank she probably would have done it!"

"So what exactly made that change?" he could help his curiosity.

She looked surprised, perhaps because he was asking about her life. "You really want to know?"

He nodded and she continued.

"I really don't know to be honest. One weekend I went away to my grandparents and when I came back, Charlotte was packing mom's stuff. She looked almost like…Charlotte had been sucked away and left with a shell. After mom was gone for about a week, she started coming back. But it took a while. I spent a lot of time at my grandparents that summer. Grandma told me Charlotte just needed some time to find herself again. Towards the end of the summer, I thought she was going to be like mom was, just forget that I was there. But she didn't and then summer ended and things were better again."

His heart felt like it was being crushed; her tone and her words said it all. Ellie, his daughter, had lived a tough life full of heartaches and let downs. He knew there was nothing he could have done about it but that didn't stop the pain that ran through him. He thought back to his childhood, remembering how it felt to be a small person with barely any power.

'At least she had Charlotte.'

He knew somewhat of the sacrifices Charlotte had made for her life in order to take care of a child she had no responsibility for. But he could never fully understand all that she had given up. He wanted to be angry with her because she was the easiest to point the finger at in his mind. He never expected much from Aubrey but he had trusted Charlotte.

'She had trusted you.' He told himself. 'Look what happened then. You betrayed her and never spoke to her again.'

_**"You think I didn't wait for a letter? For anything from you? Aubrey got to fuck you and what did I get? Nothing, absolutely nothing!"** _

He had told himself it was better that way, that if he brought her back into his life, she would be in danger.

'You could have checked in with her. Maybe things would be different…'

"You're doing it again." Ellie snapped him out of it.

"What?"

"Zoning out." She smirked but it slowly faded and she was pouting again. "Please can you talk to Charlotte? Please!" Ellie begged.

He watched her beg and couldn't help but roll his eyes. He knew he didn't have much of a choice. "Stop begging, it looking pitiful. I'll do it as long as you stop with your whining."

Ellie's eyes lit up as she jumped from her seat. "Awesome thanks dad!"

It seemed an all too familiar scenario to Severus as Ellie's cheeks heated up; she began to speak rapidly. "I mean can I call you dad? I was thinking about it before I came here and then it just kinda slipped out. It would only be in private of course…."

"Its fine." He rolled his eyes again as she said goodnight and bounced from the room.

'Dad,' he smiled to himself. 'I could get use to that.'

* * *

It took him until the next night to work up the courage to talk to Charlotte; he had seen her around the castle and of course at meals but she never even glanced his way. She had become extremely talented in giving the cold shoulder.

He finished his classes and took a quick supper, looking down the table to see if the brunette was there.

She wasn't.

He had, however, caught Ellie's eye and could almost hear her voice. 'Find her and talk to her.'

He went back to his office, feeling the need for some liquid courage before he faced the task at hand. He pulled out a bottle of fire whiskey he kept hidden in case of emergencies like this.

'What am I going to say?' he took a sip from his glass. 'How do I fix this?'

He wasn't made with her, he never truly could be upset with Charlotte. She was the first and only woman he ever truly felt love for after Lily had died though he never saw her as Lily's replacement. The love he had for the red head was different from what he had with Charlotte.

Lily had never truly loved him, not the way he wanted her too at least. She wanted to be his friend but never any more than that; she never dreamt of kissing him into the night and pressing her naked body against his. She had never pictured them growing old together or having children and then great grandchildren. For a long time, that had bothered him and even up until the end of the war, he still held onto that pain of lost love.

He always knew that a small reason for his distance with Charlotte after her time at Hogwarts was always a very small part to do with his love with Lily.

It had taken him almost dying to realize that Lily was dead and even if she wasn't, they would never be together. He realized then what a fool he had been; Charlotte had loved him the way he wanted Lily to love him. She begged silently for his kisses and yearned for his touch. She wanted to be with him forever and have children.

At least that's what he thought Charlotte wanted.

'Clearly and you were the idiot that let her get away.'

He drowned down his second glass before he made the decision to go find Charlotte now before he got so drunk he would crawl to her office.

He stood at the door taking a breath, knowing that once he walked out of his office door, that he couldn't stop and change his mind.

'Just go.' His mind yelled. 'Stop acting like a child!'

He opened up the door and was frozen to the spot.

The woman he had been going to find, dreaming about in the past and thinking about talking too stood in front of him, red in the face and looking as surprised as he probably looed. Her hand was raised up beside her hand, looking like she was trying to knock on the air.

She sighed and let her hand drop, fidgeting around, clearly uncomfortable.

"Severus," Charlotte broke the silence with her meek voice. "I think we need to talk."

 


	10. There are Worst Things I Could Do

_**He wasn't sure why it was always him who seemed to be stuck with weekend patrols. At first, he thought perhaps, it was because he was a newer professor and then, Quirrell had shown up and he knew that wasn't the case.** _

' _ **The old man probably thinks you are best suited to scare the students who attend their weekend parties.' He rolled his eyes at the thought. It was the same students he usually caught and over the years, many had tried to outsmart him. Each and every single one of them claimed they would be the first to trick him.**_

_**Tonight wasn't one of those cases.** _

" _ **Screw Snape! That idiot is on the other side of the castle!"**_

" _ **But what if he…"**_

" _ **Awww is little Charlotte a little scared?"**_

_**He stopped in his tracks, the wheels in his mind turning. He knew the voice all too well and he also knew Aubrey was one of those students he had caught out on more than one occasion.** _

" _ **Please Aubrey…." He heard Charlotte's voice. "Please let's go quickly…"**_

" _ **Why you don't want him to see you all hot like this? Think it might ruin your professional relationship?" Aubrey drug her last two words out. "Or maybe it's those few drinks you had. You're a light weight!"**_

_**Severus found himself moving closer to the voices finding himself more curious then angry. He peaked around the corner and felt his breath get caught in his throat. Aubrey was leaned against the wall, throwing her hands around and slurring her words. He wasn't surprised at her attire; a shirt and skirt you could barely call clothing and heels that made her increasingly taller.** _

_**Charlotte however, did not look like the Charlotte he was used too.** _

_**A dark tank top that clung to her body just around her navel and a dark red skirt that hung snug against her hips to her mid thighs. Her hair was pulled up into a high bun with pieces hanging around her face and her face was covered in the same makeup Aubrey wore at that moment.** _

_**He knew he couldn't stand there, behind a corner, gawking at his student like a school boy would; he would have to cast his feelings aside and let them know they had been caught.** _

' _ **At least take some joy out of catching Andrews.' He snickered to himself.**_

_**He slowly walked up towards the pair; Charlotte's back was to him and Aubrey, who was still yelling her slurs, seemed to have her eyes locked on Charlotte.** _

_**Severus stood right behind Charlotte for a moment until he saw her body tense up; he pulled out his wand and held the light up to the two. Aubrey gave him a smile that he could tell, didn't mean she was happy to see him. Charlotte still hadn't turned around when he spoke.** _

" _ **Surprise surprise Miss Andrews, catching you wandering the halls on another Saturday night reeking of liquor." He moved so he was besides Charlotte now, her eyes cast downwards. "Wasn't it last time you told me I would never catch you again?"**_

_**She pushed herself from the wall and stumbled forward slightly. "You're such a git…"** _

" _ **Aubrey!" Charlotte's voice finally rang out, reaching out to grab her friend.**_

" _ **Miss Matthews let her continue." He glanced over at her but she still wouldn't meet his eye.**_

" _ **Yeah the man wants to know what all us students really think about him!" Aubrey laughed. "You're an ugly git who will probably die alone. I mean who would want anything to do with you? Who would want to have sex with you?"**_

_**Charlotte didn't stop her, much to his surprise. Instead she wrung her hands together, looking at her feet with her cheeks heated up. He wanted to question it but knew there were other matters at hand.** _

" _ **Are you finished yet?" he raised his eyebrow.**_

" _ **Yeah I am!" Aubrey grabbed Charlotte and went to pull her away from him. In a split second, Charlotte was being pulled forward and landed on the ground; her legs dragging across the hard flooring as her friend slid as well. Aubrey, who had passed out, seemed unharmed while Charlotte was rolled over on her back, holding her leg and biting her lip.**_

_**Severus found himself down at Charlotte's side, examining her wound; it seemed to have begun as a scrape and then opened up into a cut with blood gushing from it. Charlotte was doing her best to put pressure but he could tell she was in pain.** _

_**He reached out to help her and she turned away. "I'm fine…please don't waste your time."** _

_**He went to say something when Aubrey groaned and shifted slightly. He knew he needed to get the passed out girl to her room and then deal with her punishment later. He could feel Charlotte's eyes on him again and she shifted, sitting up a bit.** _

" _ **I..I don't think I can walk on my own…" she bit her lip again.**_

" _ **Wait here." He didn't give her a chance to respond and flicked his wand, hovering Aubrey in the air and moving quickly towards the Ravenclaw common room. They had only been a short distance away from the entrance so Severus found himself back at Charlotte's side quickly enough.**_

" _ **I stopped the bleeding…." Her hands were covered with blood as she pulled them away from the gash.**_

_**He looked at it for a moment and let out a sigh. She would be okay but leg needed rest for the night. Without a word, he helped her up and she began to try and walk only to fall into the wall with a cry of pain.** _

" _ **You did say you couldn't walk." He reminded her, wrapped his arm around her back to steady her. His heart was racing as she leaned into him, avoiding his gaze.**_

" _ **I thought maybe I was wrong." The moved at a snail pace. "Apparently not."**_

_**It took them a bit longer to make it to the common room then it had when Severus had just floated Aubrey beside him. As they entered, Charlotte stopped seeing Aubrey sprawled out on the couch and went to pull away.** _

" _ **Thank you Severus." She whispered.**_

" _ **I still need to get you to your room." He held onto her tighter and kept moving towards the stairs. She tried to wiggle free but he held his grip tight. When they had made it up he asked her which, room was hers.**_

" _ **I can make it from here…." Her body was growing warm and he could feel her hands becoming sweaty.**_

_**He didn't listen and soon enough was dropping her down onto the bed. Charlotte put her leg up and Severus couldn't help but let his eyes travel to them; her skirt had risen slightly showing even more of her thicker thighs.** _

_**It was then he knew how bad of an idea it was to be here.** _

_**Charlotte, who either was clueless at his stares or didn't care, gave him a small smile. "Thank you Severus."** _

" _ **I should punish you." The words sounded differently than he had intended. His mind began to throw images at him, all involving him making his way to her bed. He swallowed hard.**_

_**Her mouth hung open slightly and she seemed to be unable to speak; she wrapped her arms around herself causing him to be more aware of how low her shirt dipped. Their eyes seemed to be locked to the others.** _

" _ **Detention?" she squeaked out.**_

_**He cleared his throat. "Detention."** _

_**She looked away. "Alright…"** _

" _ **I said I should punish you." He sighed. "But I won't. You aren't the usual ones out and if my hunch is correct, it was Miss Andrews who dragged you out."**_

" _ **Thank you." She knew better than to argue.**_

" _ **I better go. If someone was to see me in here they might…"**_

" _ **Think the wrong thing?" she finished for him with a soft smile. "I understand. I don't have any other roommates besides Aubrey in here but just in case…"**_

_**He turned to leave but flung himself around when she stopped him.** _

" _ **Or…"**_

_**Her eyes were wide and innocent and she was breathing heavy; her cheeks were tinted but she was still looking at him. He could see now that she was starting to feel some effects of what, he assumed was the alcohol.** _

_**He stepped back towards her, silently begging her not to continue. Severus knew if she asked him to stay, he would in a heartbeat. He could see the words forming on her lips the ideas rolling through her head.** _

_**She wanted him, he knew it. Her posture had changed, her pupils dilated, she licked her lips while staring at his.** _

_**Then as if something flicked in her mind, she turned away with a small, uncomfortable laugh. "I was just going to say or we could talk some more…but I know you're on patrol and I wouldn't want to keep you. Goodnight Severus and thank you again."** _

_**He turned a left silently as she laid down on her bed.** _

_**Charlotte had let him off the hook in a sense.** _

_**He wasn't sure if that was a good or a bad thing.** _

* * *

"Can I come in?" her voice pulled him from the memory. Somehow she was still managing to leave him completely speechless; he hadn't seen her coming. He thought he was going to have to track her down and convince her to talk. Now here she was, wanting to be let in.

So he let her in, not really knowing what else to do. He noticed her hands were shaky as she brushed by him.

Charlotte was as nervous as he seemed to be.

She glanced around the room for a moment and began to walk over to his desk. "Fire whiskey? Can I have some?"

He followed behind her and pulled another glass out, pouring the liquid in and passing it over to her. She took it from him and studied it for a minute before taking a quick gulp. She shook her head and coughed a bit before taking another gulp.

"I can't understand how you men drink this straight." She tapped her fingers on the glass before turning her eyes up to him. She took a breath in and practically screamed at him. "I'm sorry for the other night!"

She raised the glass to her mouth again taking a bigger gulp then the last two.

He watched her and slowly took a sip from his glass, waiting to see if she would continue.

Charlotte fidgeted on the spot. "I overacted…" she paused and pushed her feet off, pacing around the room, studying the different things he had hanging on the walls or sitting on shelves. "When I figured it out…what you and Ellie were up too, all I could see was red." She moved around a bit more before ending up in front of him again with an empty glass. "I couldn't stop myself. Ellie might not be related to me by blood but I still see her as my daughter even though she will never truly be that."

"Not telling you about her was for my own selfish reasons. I knew all these years that she could be yours and I just didn't want to think about it…." She took a deep breath in and let it out shakily. He could tell by her actions how hard of a time she was having. But he didn't stop her.

"I wanted you to hurt like I felt you had hurt me and this was the only way I knew how to do it. Then I started realizing how stupid that was and when we came here and I saw you…I didn't want to do it anymore. I was going to tell you…"

She put the glass down, rubbing her temples with her eyes shut tight. When she looked back at him, he knew she had been trying to stop her tears. "I didn't know how to tell you that I had kept this from you. Aubrey, anyone would expect that from but me? Then I would have to tell Ellie what I did and I didn't want to disappoint her. Make me think I am like her mother…"

"I'm sure she doesn't…"

"No you're right, she thinks I am worse. She almost said she hated me." Her anger was rising. "She hasn't even come close to saying that to Aubrey. Do you realize how much of a failure I am to her? But great now she has you and it will all be better right?"

"What happened with you and Andrews?" the question came to his mind when he heard Aubrey's name. After Ellie's answer he had more questions than before, questions only Charlotte could really answer.

Charlotte began to rub her throat and bite her lip. "Aubrey is Aubrey. She pushed me to far one day and I couldn't have that."

"She did something to Ellie?" he couldn't be sure if Ellie had been completely truthful with him.

"She'd be dead if she laid a hand on Ellie." Her hands left her neck.

They were silent for a few moment before he realized what he needed to do. He was sure, Charlotte had been putting herself through a lot of mental grief over the past week over something no one really seemed to be upset about. He surely wasn't and Ellie had begged him to talk to Charlotte in the first place. She blamed herself more than she needed too.

"Ellie doesn't hate you. She wanted me to…talk to you." He began. "I forgive you Charlotte for this all and I would prefer just to move past it."

He wasn't sure what she was thinking or what she would do next. Her body was still for a moment before letting out a sigh of relief. "I don't deserve but thank you."

"So what do we do now?" He asked slowly.

Charlotte thought for a moment. "I know Ellie wants you in her life and I want you to be there for her too. I might be her guardian but you're still her father. I know you and if you're still the same man, I know you will take your responsibilities seriously."

He nodded. "Yes I am still that man and if you are the same woman I knew back then, me giving you money for Ellie, for all these years, would be out of the question."

"I don't want your money."

"Even still, I would like to make sure that Ellie has everything she needs for her school year and for when she isn't at school."

"I am not asking you to do that."

"I wasn't asking you if it was alright Charlotte." He told her. "I am telling you I am helping regardless of what you may want or not want."

Charlotte crossed her arms. "I am not going to win this one am I?"

"No you're not."

"Fine." Charlotte turned and headed towards the door. "Oh and Severus."

"Yes?"

"I'm not the same woman I used to be. Not even close." She opened the door and nodded to him. "Goodnight."

She shut the door leaving him alone with his fire whiskey and two empty classes.

'She isn't that girl anymore.' He told himself. 'But what if I want her to be?'


	11. This innocence

**" _Hey Eloise!"_**

**_Her friend waved her over and the small girl took off, her dark hair flowing behind in the wind._ **

**" _Hey Sarah!" Ellie held up a picture that was cradled in her hands. She shoved it close to Sarah's face and wiggled it around with excitement. "I made this for my mommy! She is coming to get me today! Do you think she will like it?"_**

**" _Yeah! I love it Eloise and your mom will too!"_**

**" _I haven't seen her in forever!" Ellie bounced up and down and giggled with her friend._**

**_Soon Sarah had left, wishing her good luck with her mom for the weekend. More parents came; Ellie's peers running into the arms of their moms and dads, overjoyed to see them. Ellie eagerly waited to copy everyone else when she saw her mother's face turn the corner._ **

**_That never came._ **

**" _My mommy is just running late." She told her teacher and they walked inside together. "Charlotte is going away this weekend so mommy said she would watch me. So mommy has to come." Ellie looked down at her picture, still smiling a bit. "Mommy just has to see my picture."_**

**_Inside, Ellie got to sit in her classroom, playing with toys and drawing pictures until she heard a noise from the hallway. She jumped up with excitement and looked at her teacher who didn't smile. "It's my mommy! It's my mommy!"_ **

**_Ellie's excitement left as soon as she saw Charlotte whose face was bright red and hair was a mess. Ellie was told to go get her stuff together, leaving her teacher alone with Charlotte._ **

**" _I am so sorry." Ellie listened to them talk. "Aubrey promised me this time she would be here. Swore it up and down; I just can't believe she would do this."_**

**" _It's alright Miss Matthews. I understand what a unique and difficult situation this is however, it will only damage Eloise the more her mother lets her down like this. I know you are trying to do what you think is right but you need to rethink what is best for Eloise's wellbeing. In any case perhaps be here next time just in case."_**

**" _Yes of course, this won't happen again."_**

**_Charlotte gave Ellie a small smile-the same one she saw every time her mother didn't show up for something. Charlotte held out her hand and they walked out the doors and heading in the direction of home._ **

**" _Mommy isn't coming is she?"_**

**_Charlotte didn't look at her. "Not this weekend."_ **

**_The picture that Ellie had been holding fell from her hands onto the ground. She didn't stop to pick it up._ **

**_When they got home, Ellie noticed the bags and remembered Charlotte's trip._ **

**" _How are you going to go on your trip?"_**

**_Charlotte sank into the couch with a sigh. "I won't be."_ **

**" _Oh ok." Ellie took the seat beside her and went to say something again, looking up at her when she noticed something was off._**

**" _Charlotte why is your shirt on inside out?"_**

**_Charlotte's cheeks were scarlet as she cleared her throat and stood up. "Just an accident when I was getting dressed this morning. I will go fix it."_ **

**_But Ellie knew Charlotte's shirt had been the right way this morning because of the single jewel on the middle of the shirt Ellie always thought was so pretty._ **

**_But she didn't think about it anymore. There was no need too._ **

* * *

Ellie had waited and waited and then she waited some more; it had gotten to the point where she felt like flinging the first year across the room to get her out of the way. She needed to talk to Charlotte and was feeling twitchy about the whole thing. Having to wait this long only made it worse.

"I've never seen someone so eager to see a professor before." The voice startled her. When she turned, deep green eyes greeted her. Ellie noticed his smile next; his teeth were pearl white and his grin was large. Even with his brief statement, Ellie felt drawn to him in a way she had never felt before for anyone.

"It's important."

"I bet." He held out his hand to her, his skin was a milky color and when she took his hand, the skin was soft. "Damien Marcus and no need to introduce yourself. I already know who you are Ellie Andrews."

"You do?" Ellie was still holding his hand when she noticed how drunk his presence made her. "But how?"

They let their hands go but he was still grinning. Ellie knew this was nothing like her but she had heard about this from people before, this 'love at first site' thing, though she all thought it was a huge joke. Now, she knew it was different, even in these few seconds of meeting him, she knew he was going to be something to her.

"Everyone knows about the prettiest girl in school." He winked at her, making her heart beat quicker than before (if that was even possible). "Too bad you weren't in Ravenclaw."

"Yeah too bad…"

"Ellie?" Charlotte's voice was directly behind her. She started pulling away from the fog Damien had created but still wasn't feeling completely clear yet. Talking to Charlotte was important, she knew that. But wanted to savory his attention for a bit longer.

"Oh hey Professors Matthews. I found Ellie waiting to talk to you so I decided to keep her company for a bit."

"How kind of you Mr. Marcus." Charlotte's voice was flat and her expression blank, much like she had taken a page from a certain professor's book.

"No problem. See you later Ellie." He winked again and Ellie felt short of breath.

Ellie couldn't tear herself away from where he had just been standing, like he would pop back any second. It was only when she heard Charlotte groan and turn away to head back to the classroom, did she fully wake up.

"Awake now?" Charlotte leaned against her desk. "Watch out for him. I know he might be pretty but he has a reputation or so I had heard."

"Reputation for what?"

"Don't worry about it. Just don't let Severus see you mooning over him or else you may never see the boy again." Charlotte chuckled at the thought.

"So you two are friends again?"

"I wouldn't call it friends at the moment."

Ellie could somewhat understand why Charlotte was reluctant to even be friends with him; she thought back to the night when Charlotte thought Ellie had left before her guard finally went down and for once, she heard the honest truth on how Charlotte felt. Ellie knew Charlotte had tried to protect her by putting her own feelings aside but the guilt of it all ate at Ellie daily.

"I am so sorry Charlotte! I just want us back to normal! I miss you! I'm sorry for what I did!"

"Ellie…" Charlotte tried to begin but Ellie wouldn't let her.

"No! You don't get to make this okay! Yeah I was mad but I should came to you first and talked it through! But I was confused and angry and…"

"Ellie!" Charlotte yell stopped her mid speech.

Charlotte gave a loud sigh and looked around the room, almost like she was searching for the words to say. "You don't need to apologize for anything. You are innocent in all of this and if I was in your position, I can't say I wouldn't have done the same thing. I was selfish, almost as selfish as your mother when it came to finding your father. For that, I am sorry that I kept that part of your life from you. I would never hate you, I never could. I want to make it right now though. So I have no problem with Severus being part of your life."

Ellie felt the smile creep to her lips and ran into Charlotte's arms, hugging her tightly. Somehow the hug had made everything feel better then Ellie would have ever imagined and Charlotte's words soothed her guilt away.

"I love you Charlotte."

"I love you too Ellie, never forget that."

Ellie let go, wiping the tears that somehow had welled up into her eyes before she knew they were coming.

"Now don't you have a class to get too?"

"Oh yeah." Ellie started to head to the door when something came to her mind. "Hey Charlotte?"

"Yes?"

"I hope you and dad can be friends again soon."

"You never know Ellie. Now get to class."

Ellie nodded and headed out the door, running off to class. Before she took off she swore she heard Charlotte giving a loud sigh of relief.

 


	12. How Do I Get You Alone?

**_She watched as teachers clapped him on the shoulder, throwing their heads back with laughter and Dumbledore raising his glass and nodding towards him. His scowl grew darker than she had ever seen it before._ **

**" _What do you think is going on?" one of her classmates asked, seeming to notice the commotion as well. "Did Professor Snape win something?"_**

**" _I heard it was his birthday," Aubrey piped in from beside her. "Two of the teachers were talking about a bunch of them going out to get some drinks tonight with him. Apparently he never celebrates…who would have guessed!" Aubrey's sarcasm didn't go unnoticed as the table besides Charlotte laughed._**

**' _We have our session tonight though.' Charlotte looked over at him. 'Perhaps he will go after that if he goes at all.'_**

**_Charlotte finished he breakfast quicker than most and told Aubrey she would see her later. Aubrey questioned if anything was wrong but Charlotte shrugged her off, saying she wanted to get some reading done_ **

**' _I need to find him a present.' Charlotte was sure her professor wasn't the type to enjoy receiving a gift but there was something telling her to do it anyways. As long as it was small and she didn't make a big deal out of it, he probably wouldn't fuss much about it or so she had hoped._**

**_She received permission for Flitwick, who was always more than willing to write her a slip, letting her down to Hogsmeade when she needed something (that was unless she was with Aubrey). She raced down as quickly as she could with no idea what she was going to get him. She hoped something would jump out at her quickly._ **

**_She checked a few shops before she found an old antique shop on the corner. She could almost taste the dust as she began to walk through the isle, making sure to look at the items carefully. She picked up several different things, examining them closely, before she sense someone right behind her._ **

**_He cleared his throat._ **

**_She turned herself quickly to see a kind looking older man, who was short with salt and pepper hair. He clapped his hands together and gave her a welcoming smile._ **

**" _Hello dear child," the man began, coming closer to her._**

**" _Oh…um…hello…"_**

**" _Is there something I can help you find?"_**

**_Charlotte bit her lip; she wanted to be out of here quickly but had no idea what to even look for. Despite the fact that she didn't want the company- she knew help would be best._ **

**" _Present…I'm…I'm looking for a present."_**

**" _Ahh a special occasion?"_**

**" _Birthday." Charlotte reluctantly followed him, as he moved to the front desk._**

**" _For a boyfriend?"_**

**_Charlotte flushed at his words. "Oh no, not a boyfriend…"_ **

**" _Relative? Close friend?" he listed off a few things._**

**" _Lover?"_**

**_Charlotte felt her mind tremble at the thought of her professor that way and found herself shaking her head no twice as hard as before. The man chuckled._ **

**" _No matter, tell me some things he likes."_**

**_She listed off a few things; for each point, the shopkeeper brought out something else, none which seemed good enough for her professor. Charlotte glanced around while the man looked in the back when something else caught her eye. She slowly moved herself towards the glass display, crouching down to get a better look._ **

**" _Ah you like the pocket watches?" spooked by the voice, she jumped back up. "Do you think this man will like one?"_**

**_She tried to picture him with one; pacing around students as they were writing a test, the clicking of the watch the only sound you could hear in the room; him snapping it shut when time was up, causing students to jump at the tension being cut. Forgetting where she was, she laughed out loud._ **

**" _I take that as a yes?" the man didn't seem at all surprise at her blush._**

**" _Yes I think so. Is there anything special about them?"_**

**_He bent down and pulled the three from the display; one was a bright golden color and was bigger than the other two, the other two were both silver and both the same size. The difference was, when they were opened up, one had a quote engraved on it._ **

**" _There is more to the truth than just facts." Charlotte read out loud, holding the pocket watch in both hands. Perhaps it had no meaning but there was something nagging inside of Charlotte that it would be a good gift. She looked at him._**

**" _How much?"_**

**" _Usually for this one, I would be asking for 10 galleons."_**

**_Charlotte's heart sank; she only had fifty galleons left in the bank and that was supposed to last her for her last two years at Hogwarts._ **

**' _You already made him help you find it and you know it's the perfect gift.' She already had begun to reach into her pocket when then man stopped her. "However, I know love when I see it. Call me an old romantic if you will. For you, five galleons."_**

**_If she could jump for joy, Charlotte knew she would have. She even almost reached out to give the man a hug but instead, she thanked him multiple times and promised that she would come back again to check out some more things._ **

**_She hurried back, clutching her prize between her fingers until she reached the grounds and dropped the watch into her pocket, so no one could see. She slipped into the castle without anyone questioning her and made her way to her rooms, hoping Aubrey wasn't there but only because she needed the time to mentally prepare herself to give him the gift._ **

**_She was sure she was ready, until he stopped her on the way to dinner._ **

**" _Miss Matthews, a word?" she followed him around the corner to the empty hallway, where ears wouldn't hear them._**

**" _Charlotte, I am afraid I have to cancel tonight on you. Something else came up that requires my attention."_**

**" _Oh…" She had already planned everything out so when he flipped the script, she had no idea what to do. Charlotte felt in her pocket and fumbled with the watch. "Ok that's alight professor."_**

**_He was gone before she could say anything else._ **

**_A mixture of emotions ran through her body and she was unsure on how to react. On one hand, she was upset that he canceled after she went out of her way to get him the gift and on the other hand she was surprised he even wanted to attend some birthday celebration that Charlotte automatically assumed he was going too. But most of all, she felt disappointed. As much as she tried not too, Charlotte had played out in her head how the night would go._ **

**_They would do their potion, she would confidently give him the gift and he would decide to spend the rest of the night talking with her._ **

**' _You're selfish and delusional,' she told herself sadly. 'He has better things to do. Probably already has some date he is taking down.'_**

**_But Charlotte knew that wasn't the rational explanation; he was an adult (though not much older than her) and had adult friends who he would rather spend time conversing with rather than a sixteen year old girl._ **

**_She forced herself to eat, sneaking peaks at him through the meal. He never looked at her once._ **

**' _He knows I am disappointed. God he probably thinks I am one of those students who crushes on any professor who gives her attention…well I guess in a way I am but still…'_**

**_She felt uneasy going to bed that night, after explaining to Aubrey why she wasn't going to her weekly meetings with their potions professor. Aubrey threw her head back with uncontrollable laughter, falling onto her bed in the process._ **

**" _He is probably going to get drunk as a skunk and find some ugly chick to screw around with! Even good old Professor Git Face deservers that much on his birthday!"_**

**_Aubrey's words didn't sit well with Charlotte as she tossed and turned, trying to fall asleep. Finally, it came to the point when she knew it wasn't happening. All the other girls were passed out in their beds; even as Charlotte walked on the creaky spot in the flood, no one flinched._ **

**' _Why do I have to let that bug me?' Charlotte splashed some water on her face. 'I don't have any claim over him. I shouldn't be even thinking about this.'_**

**_But she couldn't help it. Charlotte needed to see him. She told herself it was just to give him his gift, ignoring the voice in her head screaming she was a 'jealous crazy person'._ **

**_She slipped on some warmer clothing, including her hat and scarf; luckily the snow had calmed down since last week so heading down to the village wouldn't be too hard. She knew the path to take to be unnoticed (not that she had much problem with that); Aubrey had dragged her along a few times when she was being showed different ways to get around the castle by some guy she had been stringing along._ **

**_Charlotte reached into her jacket and felt the cold pocket watch against her fingers; her heart was thumping wildly against her chest and it was hard to breath. She had never snuck out of the castle at night or done anything this risky before. She felt almost giddy at even the thought of breaking the rules._ **

**_When she made it into town, it was apparent how late it was; loud, drunken songs came from different areas and while Charlotte tried her best to blend it, it was much harder to do being a young girl out in the middle of the streets alone._ **

**_There weren't many pubs in Hogsmeade so it didn't take long to find the group celebrating at The Three Broomsticks. Charlotte peaked in through the window, seeing a few professors she recognized but not able to locate her potions professor._ **

**' _Ok, he is here but you can't see him. Go back to the castle.'_**

**_A burst of laughter came from inside and Charlotte directed her focus to the pub again. Suddenly, she spotted him sitting at the bar, chatting with Dumbledore and sipping back a drink quickly. He didn't looked too pleased to be there either._ **

**' _Plus there is no girl on his arm…not that it really matters too much…'_**

**" _Hey girl!" The voice belonged to a burly man who had seemed to come out of nowhere. "Aren't you a little young to be out this late?"_**

**_Charlotte couldn't say anything and was glued to where she stood._ **

**" _I'm talking to you girl!"_**

**_The pub door opened and out walked the man who had plagued her mind all night._ **

**" _Professor, looks like I caught one of the students out peaking in on the party. I can stay here while you get one of the…"_**

**" _That's quite fine. I can handle it."_**

**" _But Professor, if your birthday. Figured you might want to celebrate."_**

**" _I can handle it."_**

**_The man didn't have to be told again and left the pair alone. Suddenly, he reached out and yanked her into the alley that was beside the pub; her back was against the wall and he was standing close enough, she could smell the booze on his breath._ **

**" _What are you doing out here?" his voice was not kind like it had been early on today nor was it made like it would have been to catch any other student out there. "Well?"_**

**" _I'm sorry…" she shakily got out, reaching into her jacket and pulling out the pocket watch, holding it up to him "I wanted to give you this tonight and then…"_**

**_Charlotte stopped herself realizing there was no way she could tell him about what Aubrey had said. She couldn't even bear the thought of admitting she thought he might pick up some woman in his drunken state._ **

**" _It couldn't wait till tomorrow?"_**

**_Charlotte looked away from him, her hand falling back down. He grabbed it back up quickly and examined the watch, still in her hand._ **

**" _It has an inscription in it that was there when I bought it. I thought you might…"_**

**" _Severus?" Charlotte knew the sound of Dumbledore's voice even before Severus jumped back and raced from the alleyway. She could hear them clear as day so felt no urge to move from where she stood. Charlotte closed her eyes, trying to calm herself._**

**" _Needed some fresh area Severus?"_**

**" _Yes Albus, just because it is my birthday doesn't mean everyone needs to keep tabs on me all night."_**

**" _Hmm I suppose you're quiet right. However, Victor said there was a student he caught out here and that you were dealing with it."_**

**" _This girl he harassed is not a student."_**

**" _Ah I see," Dumbledore chuckled. "Why don't you walk Miss Matthews back to the castle? I'm sure you could both use the company right now."_**

**" _Albus it's not…"_**

**" _I am sure she had a good reason to come down here. Now hurry along before someone sees her."_**

**_Charlotte couldn't believe what she had just heard; somehow he had knew it was her, whether he had seen her or not, she really couldn't be sure. He gave her a free pass, not something most students in this situation would get._ **

**_When Severus rounded the corner she stood up straight. "I'm sorry. I hope I didn't get you into any trouble later."_ **

**" _You didn't, now let's go."_**

**_She followed him down the street which, was now empty; a light snow was falling from the sky and the moon lit the path back to Hogwarts._ **

**" _May I see the pocket watch?" his voice was the first to clear the air._**

**" _Oh yes of course!" she scrambled to grab it from her pocket and handed it to him. He opened it up and she swore he saw a smile. He shut the watch quickly and shoved it into his pocket._**

**" _Thank you, I appreciate the gift."_**

**" _You're welcome."_**

**_Silence fell over them again until Charlotte continued. "I rarely get presents for my birthday so I know how it can feel sometimes."_ **

**" _Not even from your stupid friend?"_**

**_Charlotte sighed. "Aubrey tries hard Severus. She might be stupid but like you said, she is my friend. One of the only ones I have. I know I can trust her."_ **

**_They had almost reached the entrance where Charlotte had snuck out when he stopped her. She stared at him, waiting for him to say something but he just kept looking at her._ **

**" _Severus are you…"_**

**" _I apologize, I am more intoxicated than I realized before leaving the pub. I am just trying to talk myself out of something. I think you better go."_**

**" _Oh…ok have a good night…"_**

**_He grabbed her arm and pulled her closer to him quickly then she realized there was the sound of people coming up the path where they were. She saw them briefly until he had pulled her behind a tree and held her close to him._ **

**_He felt warm and she felt safe; Charlotte couldn't help but move in as close as possible to him._ **

**" _They are gone." He looked down at her with a different look in his eyes then she had seen from him all night. The look made a fiery feeling swirl through her body and all she wanted to do was stay this close to him._**

**' _I want him to kiss me.'_**

**_Neither of them moved for a few minutes, frozen with uncertainty until he finally pushed her away gently._ **

**" _You need to go Charlotte. Have a good night." Then he quickly left her._**

**' _Maybe I'm imagining things.' She told herself, not use to dealing with attention from men in any sort of way. She entered the secret entrances, taking one finally look out at his disappearing figure._**

**' _Or maybe he wanted to kiss me too.'_**

* * *

She had decided to eat dinner her in the office that night in order to get some grading caught up on. She had finished up later than she intended and half of her meal still sitting on her plate. She opened with her drawer and dropped the marked work in, quickly locking it up.

The past few weeks had gone by fairly quickly now that everything was back to normal.

'Or at least as close to normal as possible.' Charlotte thought while picking at her meal.

Ever since Ellie had come to her, apologizing for what had happened, their relationship had become stronger than ever. Not only that but having Severus around to co-parent (which, was the only way Charlotte could describe it), it took a bit of the stress off her shoulders.

Then there was the relationship between her and Severus.

It was not like it was before, it could never be that way again. But, they talked here and there, mostly about Ellie but there was the odd time where she found herself laughing at his annoyance with students and him smirking at her awkwardness.

Her heart began to thump wildly at the thought of what it could be between them.

'It can never be that way again.' She told herself 'He choose Aubrey for a night over you for a potential life time.' She of course forgave him but truly would never forget it. The thought of it all made Charlotte loose her appetite.

Charlotte knew that there was other men out there who found her interesting enough to want some kind of future with her but the few chances that had come up, always ended in Charlotte running away, still living on the 'what ifs' of her time at Hogwarts.

Not that it was a priority. Ellie and work kept her busy enough.

The knock at the door came as she was getting ready to head to her personal rooms. She told them to enter and wasn't surprise to see Severus standing there, wanting to talk to her; he was the only one besides Ellie, who would seek her out this late.

"Good evening Severus," she greeted.

"Good evening," he began. "I was a bit surprised to not see you at supper tonight so I decided to make sure everything was alright."

"Everything is fine. I needed to get some grading done so I brought dinner to my room."

"Which, you didn't each much of." He nodded towards her half empty plate.

"I didn't realize you were so worried about my well-being." She could help but smile to him at the comment; despite the fact on what she had been thinking about moments ago, it gave her a warm feeling to have someone to smile with again. Well, besides Ellie that was.

"We have always been close enough that I worry." The comment threw her off guard and made her think back to the memories that were slowly pouring back in.

"It's funny that you mention that; I have been thinking a lot about the past lately." She felt comfortable telling him that much.

He walked over and took the seat across from her own at the desk and gave her a look. "You have me intrigued, do tell."

Charlotte reluctantly took her spot across from him with her hands folded in her lap. Even though she had threw her feeling in his face before, she didn't want to bring them up again. They had somehow pushed her honest aside and had not brought it up since. She liked it that way.

"Well, there was the one time when you caught Aubrey and I in the hallway and also your birthday when I snuck from the castle and found you at the pub to give you that pocket watch." She couldn't help but laugh at herself, realizing how crazy her actions seemed now. "I can't even believe I thought that was a good idea."

"What about the time you almost burnt a hole in the desk?"

Charlotte remembered the time and felt the embarrassment all over again; she had been paying more attention to him grading than the potion when it started to boil over. They have managed to stop it just in time.

"That was my inexperience to be blamed and your terrible teaching habits."

"I think I do well enough." He chuckled. "However, as much as I am enjoying are walk in the past, I do have another reason for being here."

"Ok then. Tell me."

He laced his fingers together. "I believe we should tell Minerva that I am Ellie's father."

"Why should we do that? Wouldn't that put a stain on your reputation?"

"It may." He sighed. "However, we don't have to tell Minerva the timing of it all and its better she hears it from us rather than if something happens and it gets around."

Charlotte knew he had a point; they should have went to her in the first place when they knew for sure. Not that it matter a whole lot, but keeping it a secret would make it appear like he didn't want people to know for a reason.

Then there was Ellie.

Charlotte had already heard the talking in the hallways and the classrooms; everyone knew that Charlotte was somehow close to Ellie because they were always talking and showed up at the same time. However, she was starting to hear more about Ellie being another professor's favorite.

"What about what Ellie may want. Maybe she won't want people knowing that? They already think she is both of our favorite students and not because of how good she is in the classes."

"Well I do believe you survived your time here at Hogwarts with the gossip…"

"No one even noticed me when I was at school here."

"You would be surprised what you can hear, it you listen close enough." He remarked while standing up. "Either way, I do believe this is the best thing for Ellie and that we should go together and speak with her in the next few days."

Charlotte nodded her head in agreement. "Yes, I do agree with you that this is probably our best option. In the next few days then, just let me know."

"Of course," he turned to head towards the door but stopped and looked back at her. "I do enjoy our reminiscing of the past, perhaps we should do it again sometime?"

"Yes of course."

He didn't smile or give any acknowledgment that her response had been what he wanted to hear. Instead he went out the door with a quick good night.

Charlotte sighed softly, already missing his presence. "Goodnight Severus."

 


	13. Every Rose Has Its Thorns

**_He couldn't count the amount of times he put the quill to paper, trying to find the words to say to her; all he wanted was to see her, touch her or hear her voice. But the words never seemed to sound right in his mind no matter how he worded it._ **

**_Soon enough, he didn't want to get out of bed, discouraged by his lack of guts. For a while, he told himself he could see her again and make it up but that only lasted a month. She was done her time at Hogwarts and would probably never look back._ **

**_He lost himself in a bottle of Firewhiskey and finally found the courage to send a letter._ **

**' _I need to speak with you in person.' Was all he managed to scribble on the paper before sending his owl off to find her._**

**_A letter came back quicker then he intended asking where they should meet. He gave her his address and set up a time. Waiting for her to arrive, felt like it might have been the longest wait of his life. He paced around his home several times before the knock came. But when he opened the door, it was like someone had punched him in the gut. It was not the dark haired beauty he was expecting- not even close._ **

**_Aubrey stood before him with a wicked grin. He couldn't say much as she pushed her way in and shut the door._ **

**" _Now Professor, I thought I made things clear to you." She held up his letters and crumbled them into balls, throwing them at his feet. "She doesn't want to see you. Stay out of our lives."_**

**" _Then let her tell me that herself."_**

**" _She doesn't want to see you! Are you that clueless?"_**

**_He wasn't blind to her cunningness and called her bluff. "I find that hard to believe."_ **

**_She stopped smiling now and moved closed to him. "No matter what you believe, you don't want to cross me. Don't forget, I can still get you in a lot of trouble. They tend to frown on teachers screwing their students. Your reputation will be ruined, you will have no job, no support, nothing. Is she really worth it to you?"_ **

**_Before he could even respond, Aubrey let out a cackle. "I suppose that isn't really a good question. How about this one- are you worth it for her?"_ **

**_He couldn't answer because he truly didn't have a response._ **

**" _Exactly what I thought- now be a good boy and leave her alone. She doesn't want you, she doesn't need you. She has me, her best friend and the only person she truly needs in her life."_**

**_Aubrey turned to leave and he started to realize how much he had let her taken control; he couldn't stop his anger from seeping out. "You have no proof and no one would believe you. Your reputation at Hogwarts was that of a useless, twit who no one could trust."_ **

**_He expected her to fire back, but he got nothing; he smirk had grown wider if that was even possible and a chill went down his spine. "I have proof. You don't even know how much trouble you would truly be in. Charlotte will have all the more reason to hate you if things come out the way I would intend them too."_ **

**_He believed her; despite her having little book smarts, she had been a Ravenclaw for a reason. She was resourceful and quick witted but he also wouldn't put it past her to play as dirty as possible to get what she wanted. Aubrey was the girl who cared only for herself and her needs- he knew that for sure. He also knew how much she affected Charlotte, he couldn't see past her fake exterior personality._ **

**_He let her go that night without making a fuss, knowing it was no use to push it any further. He couldn't risk losing his job and hurting his reputation for a girl who may hate him as much as he hated himself overall._ **

**_Charlotte had made him love after Lily, something he was sure no one else could do. He would never love anyone else after this- two heartbreaks was enough and it seemed foolish to continue to try._ **

**_He was done._ **

* * *

They sat in silence, he was staring at the older woman behind the desk and her gaze coming right back towards the two of them. She looked between the two a little impatiently, waiting for either one to speak and when it didn't happen she let out a sound of annoyance.

"I suppose you didn't come here to stare at me did you?"

Severus gave another look over to Charlotte who seemed to be staring down at her lap now, as he expected; a faint blush found on her cheeks and she was wringing one of her fingers with her other hand. He knew she would have a hard time explaining but still, he had hoped he wouldn't have to be the one to do it.

It was selfish of him and he knew it.

"No however this matter is fairly important…" Severus was giving Charlotte another moment, to see if she would say anything even though he doubted she would get a word out. It wasn't that he thought she was weak in any sense, she just did not have much desire for any type of confrontation.

"Well let's hear it then." Minerva wore a scowl and tapped her finger on the desk.

"Severus is Ellie's father." The words flew from Charlotte's mouth quicker then she seemed to be able to register it. She clapped a hand over her mouth but couldn't seem to break her eyes away from the older woman who, now looked surprised.

"He's what?" He could see the dots connecting in her head as she turned to him. "Aubrey Andrews? Are you sure?" It was all she needed to say to have the salt rubbed into his wound; no one would have expected it in a millions years. Minerva had known about the strong dislike he had for Aubrey and in some ways, it was one of the only things they agreed on.

"We made sure." Charlotte told her. "We've known for a month now but we wanted to come to you to make sure it didn't take you off guard, should it ever get around."

"My god Severus what were you thinking?" Charlotte's comment seemed to fly over Minerva's head. "I mean Albus and I expected something like this to happen but with her of all people? Never in a million year!"

He narrowed his eyes at her comment. "What exactly do you mean 'expected something like this to happen'?"

"You were a young man then Severus, there wasn't much of an age different between you and some of the students. You had your favorites, one in particular you were close too. Albus said he would give it a year tops for you to go find her and then we never knew what happened but I suppose this explains it now."

Charlotte cleared her throat causing the two to look at her. She bit her lip before speaking. "Either way, we wanted to know if there is anything we should do specifically for Ellie or Severus's sake?"

"Well you told me so there is really nothing else to do. There is no need to make it personal knowledge unless Miss Andrews and Severus would like it known."

Charlotte nodded and looked to Severus, speaking quietly. "I can speak to Ellie about it and see what she wants to do."

He nodded to her as she stood up. "Sorry I do need to get to class. Thank you for meeting with us on such short notice Minerva. Severus, I shall see you later." She didn't wait for any responses, taking off quickly from the office.

"Oh dear Severus." Minerva shook her head. "How did you not know that you had a daughter all this time?"

Severus thought about Aubrey for a moment. "She is more deceiving than anyone thought."

"Charlotte or Aubrey Andrews? I'm assuming Charlotte had some idea of what had happened and that's why you two never continued communicating after she left? Not that I blame her, having an affair with the best friend of a young girl who was clearly interested in you…"

"It was one time Minerva and one I barely remember."

"It doesn't matter either way Severus. Let's hope no one looks into the matter too deeply. The prophet would have a field day with the timing of it all."

He knew what she meant; Ellie's birthdate was a little too close for comfort to Aubrey's graduation date. Of course they could say that she was born earlier then intended but there would be that 'what if' still out in the air, catching like wildfire amongst the crowds.

"I agree, that would not look good for any of us."

Minerva sighed. "I am glad you told me now, the Ministry is sending someone to come do a check on Hogwarts, to see how everything is going now. If it was to come up then, we could be in a bit of trouble."

Severus snorted. "They don't trust us to do our jobs here?"

"It's better this than having something happen and it biting us in the rear end! I might be doing alright at my job but I am no Albus Dumbledore; I can't put out every single fire with the snap of my fingers."

Severus understood what she meant; no one would ever live up to the old man's reign at Hogwarts. He seemed to know almost everything that was happening and how to fix it. Thinking about him, made knots tighten in his chest; Severus regretted listening to the old man every day since his death. He managed to be one of the bigger heroes of the war and it all worked out but every now again, Severus couldn't help but wonder what would have happened, if he hadn't killed Dumbledore.

"Don't worry, all should go well." Minerva interrupted his thoughts. "I haven't met the man they are sending yet, but I heard he is fairly easy going. He won't cause too much of a commotion unless he feels it is necessary."

Severus stood up to take him leave. "I am sure all will be fine." He moved towards the door when the old witch stopped him one last time.

"Congratulations on being a father Severus. I am sure you are in for quite a ride. Good luck."

He knew she meant well, but at the same time the hint of amusement in her voice didn't comfort him one bit.

 


End file.
